Getting a grilling from the interrogators at the ‘Hammer, Machine (fucking) Head face the Spanish Inquisition!

ROBB, YOUR GUITAR IS MADE OF PLASTIC. AND IT’S SEE THROUGH. THAT’S NOT VERY METAL IS IT? SARAH, VIA MYSPACE
Robb Flynn: (Incredulously) “What? Blood… red… pointy BC Rich Warlock – it’s the fucking hardest shit ever! It’s so metal!”
Dave McClain: “It’s fucking bullet proof shit man, you can’t get much more metal than that.”
Robb: “It’s made of bullet proof glass! (laughing) It’s fucking hard, yo!”
Dave: “It’s heavy as shit man, weighs like 50 pounds…”
Robb: “It does actually weigh twice as much as all my other guitars, so it’s fucking heavy. I actually walked into a guitar centre and bought it for 300 bucks. It was marked down from 1200. Clearly not everyone felt the same about it as me.”

‘BURN MY EYES’ WAS INCREDIBLE AND 13 YEARS LATER ‘THE BLACKENING’ IS EVEN BETTER. HOW COME YOU SUCKED FOR 12 YEARS INBETWEEN?
JASON, VIA EMAIL
Robb: (laughing) “You suck!”
Dave: “That person is a fucking mistake, their parent had sex and…”
Robb: (still laughing) “You should have been an abortion!”
Dave: “I bet you that fucker has been to a lot of our shows over those 12 years so suck on that!”

ROBB, YOU HAD SHORT, SPIKY HAIR AND WORE SHINY TRACKSUITS IN ‘THE BURNING RED’ DAYS. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?
JILL, FROM CHELTENHAM
Robb: “It was actually just one video. If you look at the whole period there was lots of black… lots of other colours going on. But it was fun. And you were probably wearing the same thing fucker! It was the style of the time. It’s like back when wearing a fucking onion around your belt was popular, I was probably wearing an onion around my belt. No one else was wearing that at the time, then it became popular and everyone’s like ‘ahhh!’
Hammer: So you’re the one to blame for shiny tracksuits?
Robb: “No, definitely not! I think Korn’s to blame for shiny tracksuits. I think we can squarely lay the blame with them…”

LOTS OF BANDS PLAY ONE ALBUM FROM START TO FINISH THESE DAYS. WHICH MACHINE HEAD ALBUM WOULD YOU PLAY?
SIMON, FOLKESTONE
Dave: “It would be between the ‘The More Things Change…’ and ‘The Blackening’. Those are my two favourite albums that we’ve done. The ‘The More Things Change…’ has always been, no matter what, my favourite. I listen to that and I’m like ‘Fuck..!’ and ‘The Blackening’ does the same for me. Those two records are the albums for me that don’t have any filler on them, they’re solid enough to play live.”
Robb: “I can see us probably doing ‘The Blackening’ in its entirety, sooner rather than later. We’ve already done it twice with ‘Burn My Eyes’.”

IT MUST HAVE REALLY SUCKED TO SEE MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE HEADLINING DOWNLOAD LAST YEAR WHEN YOU PLAYED ONLY FOURTH TO LINKIN PARK.
ANDREW CARRINGTON, VIA EMAIL
Robb: “Dave…?”
Dave: (Thinks for a moment) “I’ll rearrange that question and put it like this: Do I feel that we deserved to headline Download? Absolutely. I think we could hold our own to any band. I think to all the fans watching us that day, I think we could have easily headlined. That show was magical for us and we’ve heard nothing but good stuff from people that were there. Peers and other bands told us that we stole that day and if that’s what other people think, and that’s what we think, then absolutely, I think we could definitely headline Download at some point.”
Robb: “And we stomped Linkin Park into oblivion. I mean they need those big pop headliners, obviously, that’s why they’re able to pull so many different things in. There’s nothing like Download in America, nothing that diverse. In America everything’s gotta be the same, it’s bands like Linkin Park, My Chemical Romance and bands like that.”
Hammer: Is there a place for bands like Linkin Park and My Chemical Romance then?
Robb: “Yes. Under my fucking foot!”

HOW CLOSE HAVE YOU COME TO BEING SHOT?
JOHN, LONDON
Robb: “Too close for comfort… way too close for comfort. Like guns to the head. Closer than I want to be. I’ve been robbed four or five times at gunpoint in Oakland. First time was when I was in fourth grade (nine years old), we went for ice cream after seeing a movie, it wasn’t even dark yet, and three dudes robbed everybody in the store, locked us all in the closet and stole everybody’s jewellery including my parents’ wedding rings.”
Dave: “I lived in Hollywood for about six months, and I came home from work one day around noon and it looked like the door had been messed with. I had two roommates – one was Ross Robinson actually – and I was like, ‘Hey you guys, was somebody in here?’ I was looking around and I had some money – I used to just get my paycheck then just stash my money places – and I was like ‘Where the fuck’s my money at? Who was in here?’ Then all of a sudden this black dude came round the corner with a gun on us and said, ‘It was me motherfucker!’ We were like ‘Dude, whatever you want, take it, just don’t shoot anybody,’ and he was all ‘I don’t want nothing. I got the wrong house.’ When I went home I went to the bathroom, and he was in the shower, he must have heard me come in and hidden there. I took a piss and shit…”
Robb: “Holy shit…”
Dave: “I don’t know what he was looking for, drug deal gone bad or something, I don’t know. But as he left he said, ‘You call the cops, I’m gonna kill y’all.’ We called the cops.”

ROBB, YOU BITE PEOPLE’S HEADS AS A SIGN OF AFFECTION. MY MATE JOHN SAID HE’D PUNCH YOU IF YOU DID THAT TO HIM. DO YOU RECKON YOU COULD HAVE HIM IN A FIGHT?
HARRY, FROM UXBRIDGE
Robb: “I don’t know what John looks like so I can’t comment on that. If John is six foot eight, and 350 pounds of muscle, more than likely… not. They’re called ’skull bites’ by the way, they even have their own song. Skull bites rule and if I gave your buddy John a skull bite he would surely not be punching me. He’d love it!”
Hammer: Dave, do you think Robb would be able to handle this shady-sounding John character?
Dave: “If he couldn’t, me, Phil and Adam would be right there taking John!”

THIS QUESTION IS FOR ROBB. OR IS IT ROBERT? OR IS IT ROBB? WHAT IS IT THIS WEEK ROBB… ERT AND WHY DO YOU KEEP CHANGING YOUR MIND?
SAM, FROM LONDON
Robb: “My name is Rob. Robb is my stage name. My mom and grandma call me Robert. It’s not really that far of a stretch when you think about it, between Robb and Robert – it’s not like I’m saying ‘Hey, my names Freddy’ or something.”
Dave: “I think it’s the two Bs though…”
Robb: “I’m keeping everyone on their toes, seeing if they’re paying attention.”
Dave: “My wife actually pronounces both Bs”

MY FRIEND PRICEY SAW YOU AT THE GOLDEN GODS AWARDS. HE TEXTED ME ASKING “WHY IS EVERYONE SHOUTING SHEEP ON YOUR HEAD?” WHAT’S YOUR BEST SHEEP-RELATED EXPERIENCE?
KEVIN, VIA MYSPACE
Robb: “Our what?”
Dave: “I think you guys got me a blow up sheep once for my birthday.”
Robb: “That’s right!”
Dave: “It actually has an asshole so you can fuck it. Grease it up a little bit and it’s fine. It doesn’t feel like the real thing though. It doesn’t have the fur. I think I do still have it.”
Rob: “It was good looking too, we put some cool tattoos on it including a Coal Chamber logo. What better band to be on the side of a pornographic sheep?”

IF CHRIS KONTOS, LOGAN MADER AND AHRUE LUSTER WANTED TO GET ON THE GUESTLIST FOR YOUR SHOW, WHAT WOULD YOU TELL THEM?
TOM SILVER, VIA EMAIL
Dave: “Maybe. Ahrue and Logan have been on our guestlist recently. Chris Kontos, not so much. We’re cool with them. Ahrue came to a show recently and kind of made amends with everyone, kind of explained why he left the band and Logan comes out to shows when we play LA. We’re cool with Chris too, if we see each other at shows we say hi.”
Robb: “He hasn’t asked to be on our guestlist. If he did, we’d probably say yes.”

YOU MUST ALL BE WELL INTO YOUR 40s BY NOW. WHY DON’T YOU GET NICE HAIRCUTS AND WEAR SENSIBLE CLOTHES?
JEFF, VIA MYSPACE
Dave: “I think having a suit means having to get up at five in the morning for a job you hate, so I’ll keep my ‘unsensible’ clothes.”
Robb: “You don’t think this is a nice haircut?! This is a sensible haircut. I think the rest of the world has fucked up haircuts, and fucked up clothes. I’ve sensible everything. This is what makes sense when you’re a bunch of crusty barnacles that travel the world playing heavy metal and drinking absurd amounts of alcohol every night!”
Dave: (pointing to his bald head) “And I think I have a great haircut!”

PLEASE COULD YOU UN-RECORD ‘MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE’ AND ALL OF ‘SUPERCHARGER’?
KING NOTHING, VIA MYSPACE
Robb: “Just fuck right off!”

WHY DOESN’T AMERICA UNDERSTAND PROPER METAL?
DAVID, FROM MILTON KEYNES
Robb: “I think they do, there’s just way more love for metal out here and there always has been. There’s more magazines for example, compare the US to Europe, where each county is about the same size as each state. For every country there’s like five metal mags, so that’s like 75 mags in an area the size of America, which has about five magazines worth reading. So ‘cos of that all the US mags are very picky about what they include, so whereas mags here have black metal bands, power metal bands, older bands, newer bands, over there its all about one little block, and it kind of makes the kids think you can only like one subgenre, as opposed to all the different kinds of metal. I think corporations feed our society the idea that we all gotta be in this little box, everything’s gotta be divided up like that.”
Dave: “I would just say America sucks compared to over here.”

DAVE YOU SHARE A SURNAME WITH ‘DIE HARD’ HERO JOHN McCLANE, BUT SPELT DIFFERENT. HAVE YOU EVER WORN YOUR UNDERPANTS ON THE OUTSIDE OF YOUR TROUSERS AND PRETENDED YOU COULD FLY?
STEVE, VIA MYSPACE
Robb: “Does John from Diehard fly with his underpants on the outside of his trousers?”
Dave: “I guess I could try it next time I’m drunk.”
Robb: “There’s a good idea…”
ROBB, WHAT ADULT DIAPERS DO YOU RECOMMEND AND WHAT IS YOUR FONDEST MEMORY OF WEARING THEM?
THROBBIN’ ROD, VIA MYSPACE
Robb: “Only the ‘Depend’ brand. Only Depends work. I’ve tried several other brands and they leak pee down your leg, it goes into your shoe and you have this squishy pee shoe for the rest of the evening, which is not good. I have several fond memories of wearing them. Getting drunk and wearing adult diapers - when they retain the pee - is something every Metal Hammer reader should do in their lifetime. Best thing is to get a six pack of beer, at least, then you and your mates - try and get a couple of girls too ‘cos it’s just as fun for them - you stand around, it’s like a party, you’re just in your shoes and socks and Depends. That’s it, you get wildly inebriated then pee in them. It’s fucking great. And if you’ve got balls, big fucking balls, you go to sleep in it and wake up the next day and your balls and dick are all shrivelled with urine. I did that. It wasn’t nice. Even your butt is shrivelled.”
Metal Hammer: No solids we hope?
Robb: “No, although watching my son using his diaper it doesn’t seem so weird, I could probably do it. But I have yet to do it.”
Hammer: Dave, is this an activity you like to join in with?
Dave: “I’ve seen it. I didn’t participate in the Depends peeing party. It’s like watching someone shoot heroin, that’s great, they can do it all they want but you know…I don’t want to put on a pair of diapers and pee in them. I’m sure I’ll be doing that when I’m 75 years old.”
Robb: “Get some practice in!”
WHAT DO YOU REALLY THINK OF KERRY KING, ROBB?
JAMES, GLASGOW
Robb: “He’s alright man, we’re cool again. The beef is squashed. It got out of hand but we’re all good now. He was actually on our guest list recently, we hung out, got drunk. In fact not drunk, crunk. Extra drunk.
Hammer: Isn’t ‘Crunk’ a sub-genre of hip hop?
Robb: “It’s transcended hip hop. Now it’s just being really drunk.”
DID YOU STOP PLAYING TEN TON HAMMER SHOWS BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT THEY MIGHT UPSTAGE MACHINE HEAD?
WILL, BELFAST
Robb: “They very well could, for just sheer debaucherous decadence. But Dave’s the person to talk to about that.”
Dave: “It just means we have to practice and we never practice. It means we have to go learn Motley Crue songs and Iron Maiden songs. And Machine Head songs.”
Robb: “The one we did in London could have upstaged Machine Head. We did, like, four chug-a-lugs, with about 400 people in The Garage. It’s a nice break, it’s cool in the sense that we don’t have to be Machine Head.”
Dave: “It’s like a superhero taking off his costume! We basically just started Ten Ton Hammer as a warm up for a tour, we just wanted to get out there and play some songs and it just became more of a party atmosphere with each show. ”
Robb: “It was about getting out there and breaking the ice originally. Now the shows are basically alcohol based. Actually the first Ten Ton Hammer show we played Kerry King got up on stage and played ‘South of Heaven’. That was cool.”