The saying goes Municipal Waste are gonna fuck you up but we at Metal Hammer aren’t afraid to put the shoe on the other foot. So Municipal Wasters, the Spanish Inquisition is gonna fuck YOU up!

IF YOU HAD TO HAVE A SEXUAL ENCOUNTER WITH A BAND MATE, WHO WOULD IT BE? CONNOR VIA MYSPACE

Land Phil (bass): “Myself. And I already have a fulfilling sexual relationship with myself. It’s very strong. But gentle.”
Tony Foresta (vocals): “I agree with Phil. Hold on. No, that’s not what I meant. I mean I want to have a sexual relationship with myself. Just the thought of having a sexual relationship with any of my band members is very offensive. It would be like having sex with your brother.”
Phil: “And we all know how bad that is.”

BEER, SEX, GRAVY, CHIPS – IN ORDER OF PREFERENCE PLEASE GENTLEMEN. TIM VIA EMAIL

Tony: “Sex gravy? What the fuck is sex gravy?”
Phil: “Sex gravy all the way dude. Sex on beer produces sex gravy. Sex Gravy. That’s my new band, you heard it here.”

MY MUM SAID YOUR MUSIC IS TOO LOUD AND YOUR BEHAVIOUR IS UNACCEPTABLE SO NOW I LISTEN TO BRITNEY SPEARS INSTEAD. HAVE I MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE? DIVINE FALSEHOOD VIA EMAIL

Phil: “I wanna make sex gravy with your mom and Britney Spears at the same time.”
Tony: “I think that ultimately Britney Spears is far crazier than we’ll ever be so maybe you’ve made the wrong choice. I mean she is proving herself to be an A1 lunatic. She’s crazier than Mayhem.”
Tony: “Britney Spears will be the next member of Mayhem. She’ll be collecting bits of K-Fed’s skull fragments and wearing it as a necklace.”

ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO FUCK ME UP? AND HOW? TOM FROM MANCHESTER

Phil: “Yes. Through sex gravy.”
Tony: “It depends on the gender of said person. You think Tom’s a guy? Well then, one finger in the butt.”
Phil: “Ow!”
Tony: “Just a single finger.”

ARE RYAN AND PHIL GOING TO LEGALLY CHANGE THEIR NAMES TO RYAN WASTE AND LAND PHIL? DESTRUCTI-CONNOR VIA MYSPACE

Tony: “Well if I had to change my name to anything it would probably be like Max Power. A bit of a porno name.”
Phil: “I would change my name to Sir Fuck-A-Lot.”
Tony: “Ryan’s real name is Ryan Joy and that doesn’t sound very metal so he’ll probably actually change it to Waste one day because Joy? Who the fuck wants Joy? Bring on the Waste!”
Hammer: What are your porn star names?
Tony: “Well the first name is the first dog you had and the second name is the street you grew up in. So I would be Ruffy Avenue!”
Phil: “Ginger Schenault. What’s yours?”
Hammer: Thurston Mossdale. What’s the most improbably titled porn film you’ve ever watched?
Phil: “Great Grandma Gets Her Cookies.”
Tony: “That even puts Sex Gravy to shame but what about Lord Of The Cock Rings?”

HAVE ANTHRAX ASKED FOR THEIR RIFFS BACK YET? HOW MUCH DO YOU OWE THEM IN ROYALTIES? JAMES FROM SUNDERLAND

Phil: “No, but Violence have. We met the Machine Head guys in England and they were like, ‘You’re the guys who play all the Violence riffs!’. They were high-fiving us and stuff. We don’t owe Anthrax as much as Darkest Hour owe At The Gates.”
Tony: “Owwwwwwww! It’s funny because it’s true.”

YOU’RE IN A BAR AND YOU NOTICE JOEY DEMAIO SITTING ALONE AT THE BAR. YOU PULL UP A STOOL NEXT TO HIM AND BUY HIM A BEER BUT HE PUSHES IT AWAY AND SAYS: “WHERE ARE YOU STAYING TONIGHT SWEET TITS?” AND THAT’S WHEN YOU NOTICE THAT HE’S STROKING THE BACK OF HIS EAR WITH AN ECONOLODGE KEYCARD. DID THE DEPICTION OF GALACTICUS IN ‘FANTASTIC FOUR’ LIVE UP TO YOUR EXPECTATION? STEVE FROM NEWPORT

Tony: “Ha ha ha! That’s the funniest fucking question I’ve ever been asked.”
Phil: “Ha ha ha! Oh my God. Let me see. Fantastic Four? I’ve never seen it. Galacticus for those who don’t know was a giant being who ate planets and apparently in the movie he was just a puff of smoke so I don’t know. So no, my expectations were dashed.”

DO YOUR PARENTS EVER TELL YOU TO GET OFF THE COUCH, STOP SMOKING POT AND GET A PROPER JOB? DAZOOK FROM HULL

Tony: “Never. They wish they were doing what I’m doing. They want to rock. They’re finally after seven years starting to respect what I do. It’s taken a really long time for it to happen.”
Phil: “Mine changed their tune as soon as I started paying their bills for them.”

YOU’RE A LONDON MEDIA JOKE RIGHT? JERRY POTTER VIA EMAIL

Tony: “A London media joke? Thanks for that question Talita (Municipal Waste’s press lady). We get these questions asking whether we’re for real quite a lot, but you know, we take our music very seriously. We did have a lot of fun making the last album and we joke around a lot but we take the music seriously. We’re in a van playing 200 shows a year and we don’t write crappy songs. I think we write very good songs. If you see us having a laugh and joke and that makes you think we’re a joke then that’s your choice, but we take it seriously.”
Phil: “There are bands out there that are much more of a joke than Waste could ever be. Avenged Sevenfold? They’re a fucking joke.”

IS IT TRUE THAT MUNICIPAL WASTE NEARLY IMPLODED WHEN LAND PHIL WAS DEDICATING TOO MUCH TIME TO HIS ART HOUSE CANNIBAL CORPSE TRIBUTE GROUP, CANNABIS CORPSE? PHIL LYONS VIA MYSPACE

Phil: “No. It’s never even come close to disrupting it. I only do stuff with Cannabis Corpse when I’m through doing Municipal Waste stuff. Waste is my number one deal.”
Tony: “I honestly don’t know how he does it. We come home after touring for two months and he has a whole album ready. And amazingly it never, ever interferes with what we’re doing.”
Hammer: You don’t often associate such a Protestant work ethic with such long unkempt hair.
Phil: “Well, when I’m at home I don’t like to just sit around all day and get stoned and do nothing. I like to be doing stuff constantly. And get stoned. We’d finished ‘The Art Of Partying’ and I wanted to write some more music and now that’s finished and we’re about to start recording a new Waste album. I want to have a constant circle of albums going on. My goal is to have done 50 albums by the time I’m finished.”
Hammer: What can you tell us about the new album?
Tony: “It’s not done but we have written a lot of songs. We’re going to try out some new ideas without straying too far from the path. It’s gonna be different but it’s gonna have ‘Sex Gravy’ on it. We’re going to thank Hammer in the liner notes for inspiring us to write ‘Sex Gravy’.”
Phil (starts singing like Rob Halford): “Sex! Sex! Gravy! Sex gravy is coming tonight!”

WHO CAN BEAT UP WHO IN THE BAND? STEVE VIA MYSPACE

Tony: “It all pretty much depends on who is smoking a bong at the time. Phil can pretty much kick all of our asses at ‘Mortal Kombat’ so it must be him. Ryan can win at Cluedo. Dave can win at an ACDC trivia smack down.”

WHO IS A BETTER ROLE MODEL, BEAVIS AND BUTTHEAD OR CARTMAN FROM SOUTH PARK? IAN VIA MYSPACE

Both (standing up shouting): “Beavis and Butthead of course!”
Phil: “Like duh!”
Tony: “Jeez, what a stupid question.”
Phil: “I mean, I like ‘South Park’ but come on! Beavis and Butthead are like truly inspirational figures. If it wasn’t for Beavis and Butthead I wouldn’t have heard GWAR. I first heard Pantera on Beavis and Butthead.”

DESCRIBE YOUR FANS IN THREE WORDS. LAURA VIA EMAIL

Tony: “Intense…”
Phil: “Raging…”
Tony: “Drunks!”
Phil: “Ha ha ha!”

IS THERE ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR BAND MATES YOU WISH YOU DIDN’T KNOW? THOR VIA EMAIL

Tony: “Thor? The Thor? The musician Thor or just the ancient deity Thor?”
Phil: “Is he really called Thor or is he a teenage boy called Andrew?”
Tony: “Well Thor, that is a good question. I don’t think it’s gotten too crazy even though we spend so much time together in extremely close quarters. Nothing too perverse has occurred yet. We’re really honest with each other so there’s nothing that’s particularly out there that other people don’t know. I can’t really think of anything at all really. Oh, hang on, that’s it: Phil’s gay.”
Phil (sarcastically): “Ha ha. The obvious answer to that question is… I’m gay.”
Hammer: I don’t think they’d have you on the team to be honest. You fall short of the required high standards of male grooming, good dancing manoeuvres and upper body muscle definition.
Tony: “Yes. My beard doesn’t just cover my face. It covers my entire body.”

YOU ARE STUCK ON A DESERT ISLAND AND YOUR SURVIVAL DEPENDS ON EATING A BAND MEMBER. WHICH ONE DO YOU CHOOSE? STEVEN VIA EMAIL

Phil: “Well, I’m not going to eat Dave because he’s too stringy. Tony would be too chewy.”
Tony: “I’d eat myself. I’d eat my left arm. I don’t use it for anything.”
Phil: “I’d eat myself a toe at a time until there were none left. Then I’d eat all the fingers and then the hair. I like hair pie.”
Tony: “Dude!”

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF OTHER MODERN THRASH BANDS LIKE TRIVIUM AND BULLET FOR MY VALENTINE? BOB VIA MYSPACE

Tony: “Okay, I’m going to go out on a limb now and just say that Trivium and Bullet For My Valentine are the biggest losers ever to have lived. I don’t really know what they sound like and I’m glad I don’t.”
Phil: “Trivium suck and people who like Trivium suck.”
Tony: “I heard that Trivium have a rack of vests with the same patches in exactly the same positions on each one. (Er, this doesn’t sound likely, Legal Vest Ed.) And Bullet For My Valentine use pre-recorded guitar solos, controlled by the sound guy, so live they’re pretty much air wanking. That’s what I’ve heard. (Hmm, not sure about this either, Shred Ed.)

HOW MUCH TIME TO YOU WASTE ON YOUTUBE AND WHAT IS THE BEST THING YOU’VE DISCOVERED? SHINE HEAD VIA EMAIL

Phil: “I am a YouTube maniac! The best one I’ve found recently is someone has edited up Bert and Ernie to be playing these sick blast beats! But I suppose the best website for finding really ridiculous things on the net is called collegehumor.com. It’s like YouTube but they edit out all the bullshit. There’s a rad one where this little fat kid is riding a bike and he snaps his arm.”
Tony: “You know you shouldn’t laugh but when little fat kids hurt themselves…”
(The pair dissolve laughing)