Gary Barlow has announced that his wife has lost their unborn baby.
I reckon it's probably up her minge.
I see the Aussies aren't doing very well in the Olympics,
But then if they could run, they wouldn't have been Australians in the first place.
I saw a woman reading 50 Shades of Grey on the train today.
"At least you don't have to lick your fingers to turn the pages" I said with a smile,
"You disgusting wanker!" she screamed and stormed off down the carriage.
Are all Kindle readers such miserable cunts?