At Metal Hammer we’ve heard a lot of grumbling from metalheads who seem to think the mastering on Death Magnetic isn’t up to scratch. While they jury’s still out we were delighted to acknowledge both sides of the debate. Over the weekend we were contacted by a compelling argument by one headbanger, sung to the tune of a song we think you may already know. Dan Goldsworthy, we salute you.

MASTERED BY MUPPETS

End of session day, Rubin works away

I’m your source of song-destruction

Tunes that hurt you ear, poor sound engineer Leaving spikes on my instruction Trust me you will see Volumes all you need Dedicated to How I’ll limit you

Compressing faster

LLmit your Master

Your albums sell faster

With a loud Master

Master

Mastered by muppets, brickwalling your dreams

Clipping, distorting and smashing extremes

Ruined by me, you can’t hear a thing

Just spiking snares, and auto-tuned screams

Mastered Mastered Rubins my name, and I’ll hear you scream Bastard Bastard

Need to mix this way, never you dismay

Loud makes death magnetic clearer

Gain monopoly, ritual Waves L3

Squash your tracks til its severe

Gate and you will see

More and more dB

Dedicated to

How Im killing you

Compressing faster

Limit your Master

Your albums sell faster

With a loud Master

Master

Mastered by muppets, brickwalling your dreams

Clipping, distorting and smashing extremes

Ruined by me, you can’t hear a thing

Just spiking snares, and auto-tuned screams

Mastered Mastered Rubins my name, and I’ll hear you scream Bastard Bastard

Master, Master, where’s the version I’ve been after?

Bearded, Bast*rd, you promised only lies Blaster, Blaster, recorded on a ghetto blaster?

Laughter, laughter, laughing at those highs Spike to me!

Lars aint worth all that natural kick and hats Kirk adds wah without a reason Never ending phrase, Jaymz goes on for days Rob, your shirt is out of season Ill record til 5 (then) I will help you buy Sandals that suit you Now you look cool too

Metal Hammer are proud to announce that selected branches of HMV are now carrying the latest issue of Metal Hammer in a limited-edition Metallica metal sleeve. You can see a full list of who is carrying the issue in the Metal Hammer blog but remember this is a limited-edition item so get in quick or they will already have sold out.

Limited in number and highly collectible, these very special sleeves are sure to sell-out very quickly so be sure to get down to your local HMV or alternatively, you can order your magazine in this sleeve from the Metal Hammer merch store.

The current issue of Metal Hammer also contains an all-new interview with Metallica about the road to ‘Death Magnetic’, a definitive review of the album and lots, lots more.

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