See this? It’s a new feature for you on a Friday afternoon. Here’s the most important 8 things we’ve learnt from this week’s metal news!

1.    BFMV don’t suffer from a lack of confidence.

It’s better than not being confident at all though, isn’t it? I still think I’ll be six foot and grow hair one day. When Matt Tuck told us that he thinks BFMV are definitely big enough to headline Download, it was met with guffaws, dismay and our Facebook page exploding into a 71 comment war.

As discussed on this week’s podcast, that there’s a British hard-rock/metal/whatever band that has even a remote possibility of headlining Download shows how far our isle has come over the past ten years. Now you can go back to bitching about them.

2.    Fergie Ferg can wail.

Let’s not beat around the bush, Fergie of The Black Eyed Peas is hot. Super hot. So hot we’d crawl through a field of badgers to get to her hot. See what we mean.

Anyway, Slash has seen past the fact that she’s smoking and let her sing on ‘Paradise City’ and, be fair, she nails it. The jury’s still out on Cypress Hill but Fergie Ferg does enough to make you forgive her for this. Well, maybe not, but it’s good and that’s what we’re getting at.

3.    People getting ill sucks.

First things first, we all hope Ronnie James Dio and Tom Araya are on the road to recovery but we’re gutted that their UK tours have been cancelled and postponed respectively. Now 5FDP are cancelling Scandinavian dates because guitarist Zoltan Bathory has gotten ill.

We’re worried that bands might be worried about Swine Flu coming back. They realize that it went away when the papers could write about football again, right?

4.    Biohazard are back.

They’ve told us that their album’s going to be career-defining and we’re giving you the chance to come and see them (and roadie for them if you’re really lucky) play new songs for the first time anywhere in the world.

Excited? You bloody should be.

5.    You still hate My Chemical Romance.

We don’t blame you. It’s hard to forgive something like this. It’s just our job to report the news, OK? Feel free to add the insults in our comments section though.

“If they’re gonna harness everything that is great about them, I understand the songs are gonna be very short” is our favourite so far.

6.    I’m a mug for not putting Mastodon in my top 20 of the year.

OK, I accept I’m wrong because an old lady stopped to call me a prick the other day about it, but I just don’t get it. Gill and myself let it all hang out on the podcast this week and gave our top 20 albums of 2009. Check it out and feel free to call me all manner of disgusting names. Most creative winner gets a free slap in the chops.

7.    HIM are back in a big way.

There’s a tour booked (and we’ve heard more about a London show), we’ve heard the album and the HIM army are as rabid as ever. If you’re part of this black-clad clan and you wet your gothic knickers at ‘Love Metal’, you are going to love ‘Screamworks: Love In Theory And Practice’.

8.    You need to come to Metal Hammer at 9am on Monday morning.

We’d tell you why but we’d have to kill you and seeing as I’ve written it here, the police would know where to find me.

See you on Monday morning.