Beez: Just Say No To Crunk
Beez is angry and you should be too. Come on in to find out why.
If you’ve listened to this week’s Metal Hammer podcast, you’ll have already heard Gill and myself losing the plot over BrokenCYDE. Listen carefully, you might even hear the sound of a blood-vessel pop in my head or my mouth foaming up in a rabid fashion.
If you’re not sure who they are or what they’re about, settle down in your favourite easy chair and click this link. You might want to move anything that you could throw at the screen and strap your arms down to stop you punching your screen. Me? I leapt on to my desk and began to chew at the top right hand corner of my monitor in a rage at the sight of these crusty, fuck-nuggets. Get freaky now? Get fucked. How does that sound? Anyway, more on this later.
Everyone’s got their view on emo but, whether you’re into it or it makes you want to spew blood onto the nearest person with a floppy fringe, it’s rock music. There are guitars, they’re usually distorted and there may even be the odd beatdown. I’m only mildly ashamed to say that I like the odd emo band (Jimmy Eat World’s ‘Clarity’ album is class, Brand New are an incredible band etc.). The bottom line is that whether it’s shit or not is up for debate, whether it’s rock or not isn’t.
Which brings us on to crunk. You’ll have seen some worrying shit creeping into the rock press in recent years. Paramore. Paramore is Avril packaged to be less pop and more rock. News flash: we see right through you. There are guitars there but McFly and Fightstar…er…sorry…Busted had them too.
They’re offensive but Metro Station is a whole new ball game. If the fact that he’s the son of Billy Ray fucking Cyrus and the brother of Hannah cunting Montana isn’t enough put you off, the music should be. Rock? ROCK!? REALLY!?!?!?
BrokenCYDE are enough to want you to bleed from your eyeballs. Seriously, watch this interview without swearing or slapping your forehead. It’s bloody impossible. Argh! Just thinking about them is making me grind my teeth like a crack addict!
That Hollywood Undead are on the Download main stage is pretty worrying too. Hollywood Undead’s brand of rap/crunk/whatever is just plain insulting. The rapping’s terrible, for starters. Say what you like about Durst, but his rapping at least had character. This is just c-list flow over the top of inane beats and all dressed up in a ‘rock’ looking package. Put simply, we’re all above this. Strippers shaking their shit to Crue or Avenged Sevenfold, I’m down with that. ‘Rock chicks’ shaking it to kid-hop? Not tonight, love.
Put simply, this can’t happen. Surely not. As Defenders Of the Faith, all of these guys are the enemy. Emo, pop-punk, Bring Me the Horizon…no matter what you feel towards these guys, they’re still part of our world in some way, shape or form.
Crunk must be the outcast. Just say no.
Til next time,
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I couldn’t agree more
i heard this crap and its fucking like R and B.
they jsut think there in with the Rock musci cause they decided that there gonna scream the words out in their faggoty pathetic lame voices instead of rapping it.
Brokencyde should be shot.
Many times.
crunk is a insult to real music
i hope this pathectic genre off music dosnt get any bigger in the mainstream as its a insult to real music we have out there !
and yes Brokencyde Must be shot lol
and i agree with the hollywood undead shouldnt be on the mainstage at download … well they shouldnt be at downlaod at all as its a rock/metal festival !
Holy fucking Christ – I wasn’t prepared for that video…
If that’s what people are digging… well it makes me glad that we on here can’t deal with it.
Its sickening!
Haha i like how you name genres of rock you tht are on ‘our side’ and then just say bring me the horizon.
Also hollywood undead are aload of shit as well as brokencyde and they should go fucking do one
the thing is. if its shit. it wont last… ppl will forget and thatll be it. its a tricky one cos making a fuss about it and ‘hating’ on it actually massively helps it cos everyone loves an underdog…
i for one am the first to check out bands my friends in the ‘old guard’ and purist camps hate. usually i love em. the bronx or the gallows for example.
theres a lota shit tho. its best just left in the toilet then blasting about it all the time. it doesnt deserve the attention
That interview made me want to kill somebody…
“Whats with all the haterade mayn?”
Even Kerrang! hates this stupid fucking shits… Kerrang FFS!
Beez, you’re the man
How come there are so many positive comments on youtube about the video?
It’s just too shit to be believable.
I only watched afew seconds of each video, but now i want to kill something hmmm some re5 accompanied by some bloodbath should do the trick.
I just don’t know what to say, im utterly speechless! Total shit.
the thing is some rap music, hip hop music and dare i say it, pop music has some level of credibility. You can tell that they are doing it all for there love of the music they are making no matter what genre. Sure i dont like the music they are making but i can still respect them at least. However, you can tell that the vomit inducing dicks in brokencyde are only doing it to look cool to impressionalbe 13 year old girls and to get laid, hopefully not by impressionable 13 year old girls, but the troubling thing is its working for them. I cant see how anyone can like that music at all, and i dont believe that anyone does, i doubt that the band themselves even like there music, but they are the new ‘in’ thing, part of a scene thats cool to be in. Im 16 myself and cant stand it when older people assume im into this sort of shit just becuase im a teenager. I would rather have chuch shuldiner over any of these poser pricks any day. Fuck it, keep the faith alive.
id love to see these little dicks go against devildriver. see how long they last
holy fuck… what the christ was that?
Linking Park???
Wait, you actually publish anything you can find on these “rockers”
and i thought mcr and fob were bad
Oh, holy God! I’d almost forgotten how bad these muppets were until I (stupidly) clicked on that link. Having done so, I’ve had to put Entombed on at maximum volume to try and bleach my ear canals of that garbage!
How on earth is this popular? Is this just some massive joke to get the rock-loving community foaming at the mouth and incensed? I can’t seriously believe anyone likes something that is so bad in every way. The rapping is bad, the beats are bad, the look is bad, the lyrics are bad, the screaming is bad… it’s just all bloody awful! This is for people who like neither hip-hop nor rock but want to be cool.
Remember the Rick Rolling craze? How about we all do a similar thing- put up a video on youtube that claims to be brokeNCYDE (wtf is with that spelling, anyway? Fuckwits!) and actually turns out to be Slayer or Kreator or someone similarly good, heavy and credible.
I’m right behind ya, Beez-
Screamo-crunk: just say no. No. NO!!!!!!
Oh my god….. this is awful.
At first I thought it was a joke but its not….what the fuck did I just watch?
i go on holiday for one bastard week and this happens, il sort em….
yeah I couldnt watch all of it – seriously
i won`t be able to sleep tonight.
why the fuck is he just screaming for no reason at all
??
i liked it when he was screaming at the asian girl and you could see before it cut away she was looking at him face scrunched up as if to say “what a fukin nob”
and wtf is it with grabbing the girl by the throat?
holy moly this is…well it has to be a joke….
i`m open minded about music but this is an open and fukin shut case if ever i heard one….
Music in general must be writhing in pain…
Haha, that was hilarious ;D
I love taking the piss out of the stupid little ’scene kids’ who actually like that shit.
I sent that Brokencyde video to all the other Defenders of the Faith I know and they said it was the most fucking ridiculous thing they have EVER seen/heard.
Keep the faith guys, kill crunk
I think Brokencyde were very original by taking bog standard generic R & B beats but singing over them with their own “unique” delivery and overlaying screams they are totally original and could be the next big thing and you can tell tht it would b a total rags 2 riches story they r obviously from the streets and jst singing abwt everyday life and they are not jst middle class suburban kids paying 4 their careers with their parents money
what the fuck is this utter shite? shoot them all.now. please.
BEEZ YOUR GREAT
………PAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
That Brokencyde video has made me genuinely angry.
I want to see them getting the living daylight beaten out of them by every member of Cannibal Corpse with Hammer Smashed Face playing in the background. Loudly. With Slayer lauging at them.
What the holy fucking headfuck?
Give me an aspirin and some Children Of Bodom, that way I can get Blooddrunk and wipe this shite from my memory, Blooddrunk, geddit? no? sorry everyone!
Feeling weak… need ‘Victim Of Changes’…
this shit aint even worth talkin bout
I wanna be sick. There are actual positive comments under that video. What the fuck is youth coming to that they ‘cant wait’ for that! That unadulterated shite has come out of the US- the same US that has Slayer, Machine Head, Lamb of God….. Marilyn Manson should put his metal teeth in and rip their fucking heads off…I know i should be tolerant of the young people of today but when they embarass themselves in such a lurid and nauseating way……what the fuck did their parents listen to to spawn such aaaaarrrrggghhhhh words fail me!
Beez! You managed to pack the worst links on the f***in planet into one article! Way to go! I laughed so hard I puked blood! I say we nuke ‘em!
We’ve just birthed a new phrase! Instead of “I’m going for a dump” or “I’m off to drop thge kids off at the pool”…”I’m off for a Crunk” !!
Genius!
Has anyone told Lemmy about this shit? Surely theiein lies the answer to our problems. Put those 3 little pussies in the same room as Lemmy, and wait and see who walks out alive…
P.S. Im going for a crunk.
WHAT, in the name of all that is unholy, is this tripe…!?
Glad to see it fucks you off as much as it does me!
Cheers for the great comments, keep them coming.
And fuck yeah, we really should give Lemmy these guys addresses!
Jesus Christ! the clips linked in that article contain some of the worst most god awful sh*t ive ever heard.
Its hard to comprehend that anyone could actually likes this rancid, festering, syphilitic tramp jizz?
I couldn’t even be fucked watching the whole of their video!
They’re sound is awful!
I was at least expecting some sort of generic metal-core-esque breakdown when the screams kicked in…but no it’s just pointlessly bad screaming over R+B!
I know genre splicing can have great results at times, even some I never thought would go together well (Ted Maul being an example with their DeathMetal/Jungle/Drum N Bass sound which is actually awesome
).
But this is just low…
I find it hard to take Beez’ comments seriously here after hearing him harp on about Enter Shikari podcast after podcast.
Techno-Emo is OK but this Crunk shit isn’t? You can’t pick and choose when it can all be filed in the same box.
It’s all style over substance. Bring Me The Horizon are prime examples of this. It is they, and bands of that ilk, that spawn these little kids with dangerously skinny jeans and a dye job who are obsessed with other people’s perception of them. “The Scene!”. This is something that has been brewing in the underbelly of myspace for ages. It’s emo and hardcore (I use this term very loosely) kids who think listening to gangster rap and crunk is ironic and a novelty that are combining the two for a double dose of mainstream cool.
Having said all that though the world doesn’t beat to the sound of one drum and there will always be cunts with haircuts trying to be “different” in order to score some gash. If it’s not Brokencyde it’ll be another bunch of prize winning tits trying to combine screamo with something horrifically try-hard and “so hot right now”.
These things don’t mix. Oil and Water, people…..if you’re not part of the solution you are part of the problem.
Death to false….EVERYTHING!!!
I’d never heard of BrokenCyde before I clicked on that godforsaken link, and I now regret I ever did it. My ears are litteraly bleeding that evil black substance that most of all resembles the boiling, rancid, water in Satans toilet.
I have an irresistable urge to murder someone. GOD!
Never before in my life have I heard something that bad. I read this entire article before clicking the link and by then I just thought “well it can’t be THAT bad, right?”
What’s up with the random screaming by the way? That just seemed retarted.
and i thought metro station were as bad as it gets boy was i wrong
Must. Kill. Those. Shits.
Must. Kill…..
me and my mate almost had to put a gig on for them cus people said they would make us a bit of money.
brokencyde are twats. they wanted £1500 cash upfront, half the ticket sales profit, showers, there own private backstage and a parking space for a 50 ft. tour bus.
the club barley held 300 people, why the fuck would they need a 50 ft. long tour bus and all that money
and then we decided to listen to them, my ears were crumbling and tryin to hide from the noise there that bad
some music sukks, but is still fun to listen to. its got a good beat and u can dance to it. so what if 50 cent doesn’t have a double foot pedal? but this… this is just awful! they piss me off so much! i want to destroy them!
shit dude. what a pile of steaming cack. think my ears are still bleeding. would rather listen to an ugly chick taking a dump.
what the fuck is this? It’s not metal – it’s just shocking
its shit and thats it
United front from every comment here! What more proof is there that Crunk is shite. Bravo metallers!
Oh & I’m feeling a bit crappy tonight so I may be crunking all night long.
these guys need to be put out of our misery please somebody just shoot them
utter shit
I would much rather listen to crunk than brutal slamming gore grind groove ultra beatdown heafy core like this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2I5Ps8igYo. That’s the real problem guys, it must be destroyed somehow.
Well I’ve just watched it.
I’m not sure how to feel…the thing is Beez and indeed everybody, it’s so distant from Metal that I’m not even sure we should see it as a threat to giving Metal a bad name…because this is literally r n b and a guy is screaming at some point too. It won’t catch on in the Metal community. I’m not sure what community it is catching on in but it’s not welcome here and nobody’s seriously going to buy into it.
Sweet zombie Buddah that was horrendous! Seriously that was just plain awful! Its like Crazy Town only without stealing better bands riffs. Speaking of which…RIFFS, even diluted,pop quasi rock has more guitar music than that. Urgh…made me sad in my pants.
Luckily, the world is filled with awsome rock and metal bands that will keep me head bangin’ and happy. Roll on the new Slayer album.
Beez I cant agree more. I am devoted to music and i play many instruments, even though im 13. BrokenCYDE are terrible and i almost punched someone yesterday because they said metro station were good. BrokenCYDE and crunk MUST BE ANNIHILATED. U rock by the way \,,/ 0_0 \,,/
seriously horse the band destroys these guys abtually check them out. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=am-B71jww9o the pits are pretty good too.
http://www.petitionspot.com/petitions/brokenCYDE/
Sign my petition and destroy CRUNK
Bring me the horizon are deathcore, ye fucking idiots, they look like twats but play the same as suicide silence
yer fucking worse than the emo cunts