Dream Theater’s Mike Portnoy: My Life Story

Former – DREAM THEATER drummer Mike Portnoy to the uninitiated may seem like a prog muso bore. But who cares when you were in a band who have outlived Guns N’ Roses and Nirvana?

WHERE AND WHEN WERE YOU BORN?
“20th April, 1967, on Long Island, New York.”

AS THE SON OF A ROCK DJ, WAS IT INEVITABLE THAT YOU’D CARVE A CAREER IN MUSIC?
“Absolutely, from the 21st of April onwards. I was surrounded by classic rock at all times, so of course it rubbed off on me.”

HAD THINGS TURNED OUT DIFFERENTLY, WHAT SORT OF JOB MIGHT YOU HAVE BEEN DOING NOW?
“I’m useless at anything to do with the real world. A record producer maybe. Or something in films, because my second biggest love is the movies.”

WAS YOUR CHILDHOOD HAPPY?
“Surprisingly so because my parents divorced when I was 18 months old and there were some family deaths. My mom remarried and then got divorced again. We moved to Arizona, then back to New York. But despite all of the shuffling around I had a very normal, middleclass, suburban upbringing.”

WHAT WERE YOUR FIRST SINGLE AND ALBUM PURCHASES?
“I bought all of The Beatles’ singles. I was the only kid in the school that could name every Beatles B-side. Albums-wise, /Tommy/ by The Who had a major impact on me. It came out when I was two and I grew up with it. I started off liking the shorter songs and then I got deeper into it and started to realise there was a whole story.”

IN 1985, YOU MET TWO OTHER MEMBERS OF THE BAND THAT BECAME DREAM THEATER AT BERKLEE SCHOOL OF MUSIC. YOU’D HAVE GOT LONG ODDS AGAINST STAYING WITH GUITARIST JOHN PETRUCCI AND BASSIST JOHN MYUNG FOR THIS LONG.
“Of course. What’s odder still is that we’ve played this style of music for almost 23 years. Had we sought a career we’d have played something a lot more commercial, but we weren’t after sex and drugs and fame. We made music for ourselves, and luckily the rest of the world came around to us. We were here way before Guns N’ Roses and Nirvana, and we’re here way, way past them both.”

DOES THE FACT THAT YOU OBSESSIVELY COLLECT MAGAZINES, CDS, BOOKS, DVDS, NEWSPAPER CUTTINGS AND ASSORTED TRIVIA CAUSE ANIMOSITY TO THOSE AROUND YOU?
“It makes my band members and my wife completely insane. But the fact that I’m so hands-on also undoubtedly helped the band. And away from that, we just had to buy a bigger house. When you’ve got 10,000 CDs, various books and magazines, inevitably you end up running out of space. So my wife has benefited from the fact that we keep moving to bigger and bigger houses.”

ISN’T YOUR WIFE MARLENE ALSO A METAL MUSICIAN?
“She used to be in an all-girl thrash-metal band called Mean Streak, who in the late 1980s opened for Motörhead and Anthrax. When I hooked up with Marlene [maiden name Apuzzo, guitar], at the same time John Petrucci met his future wife Rena [then still known as Sands, guitarist]. Shortly after that we impregnated them and that was the end of their band – they became moms. Later on, John Myung also married their bassist, Lisa Martens Pace.”

YOUR CONTROLLING NATURE NOW COVERS CO-PRODUCING THE RECORDS TO JUST ABOUT EVERY DETAIL OF THE BAND’S DAY-TO-DAY EXISTENCE. DID YOU UNDERGO THERAPY FOR IT?
“For sure. In the earlier days it was a real issue that I could never let things go. When I’m involved with something, I must oversee every aspect of it to its conclusion. When that was a more of a problem than the asset it became, I went to see people and even tried medication to calm it down, with little success.”

IS IT PRESUMED THAT BECAUSE DREAM THEATER ARE SERIOUS MUSICIANS THAT YOU ARE EXTREMELY DULL PEOPLE?
“Yeah, and that’s probably correct [laughs]. But if you listen to any of the audio commentaries [of our DVDs] and hear us in our natural environment, you’ll know that we joke around a lot. However, I take your point. Compared to most of the bands out there, we’re older, mellow guys. None of us drink anymore. Everybody practises before we go onstage. So when we’re on Gigantour or playing a festival like Download, we stand out like sore thumbs.”

IT’S HARD TO BELIEVE THAT THE MONOSYLLABIC JOHN MYUNG GETS INVITED TO MANY PARTIES…
“[/Chuckles/] John and I had a house together in the 1980s, and it didn’t last for more than two months. He moved out because he couldn’t stand my partying. I’d be raising hell every night, and he’d be cooped up in his bedroom practising the bass.”

WHEN DID YOU REALISE YOUR ADDICTION TO ALCOHOL WAS THREATENING YOUR CAREER?
“Shortly before I stopped drinking and drugging in April 2000. Through the 80s and 90s I was drunk or stoned almost every single day for a 15-year period. I tried to be responsible and wait until the end of the day when business was out of the way, but in the late 90s it started to get out of hand. I began blacking out and waking up with a hangover each day, not knowing what I’d done the night before. It started to swallow me. I wasn’t controlling it, it controlled me.”

YOUR LINE OF WORK MUST’VE MADE THINGS HARDER?
“I always had good intentions until the opening band walked in and presented me with a bottle of Jägermiester. The following morning I’d look in the mirror and ask, ‘What the fuck are you doing? You’ve got a wife, two kids and a band’. I could feel the destructiveness of what I was doing. Towards the end, the lifestyle even stopped being fun.”

YOU STILL ATTEND ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS MEETINGS IN THE CITIES THE BAND PLAY. SO THE WITHDRAWAL MUST’VE BEEN TOUGH?
“Yeah. For the two years before I stopped I’d wake up each day and tell myself I’d never do it again. Then I found Alcoholics Anonymous, made myself go to a meeting, got outside help and everything changed. It’s the only way I can continue to remain sober.”

WHAT’S THE BEST RUMOUR YOU’VE HEARD ABOUT YOURSELF?
“It’s not exactly a rumour, but I’ve got an impostor. There’s a crazed guy that goes around the clubs of New York pretending to be Mike Portnoy. He’s been doing it for the past few years, conning people in New York’s gay bars – and anyone that knows me will tell you I’m not gay – and making friends with them, getting them to buy him drinks. Then he goes back to their houses and steals their wallets and keys. He was caught and jailed in 2003, but now he’s back out and up to his old tricks again. Once a week I seem to get an email regarding something I’m rumoured to have done. It’s a real nightmare in my life.”

IT’S HARD TO BELIEVE YOU’RE ALSO A FAN OF RAP MUSIC?
“Less so these days, but in the early 90s I was hugely into rap. I was into Public Enemy, The Beastie Boys, NWA and Ice Cube, mainly from a production standpoint. I loved the whole idea of Public Enemy sampling a Slayer riff, or The Beastie Boys delving back into Led Zeppelin or The Beatles. When that was made illegal in the mid-90s and the music became purer, I lost interest. But I’m a fan of mash-up artists like Go Home Productions, CCC and DJ BC that combine the music of, say, the Sex Pistols and Madonna in a really cool way.”

SO, ARE YOU A GOOD DANCER?
“Not at all. As a drummer I appreciate rap music’s rhythm and pulse, but I cannot dance to save my life.”