Metal Big Brother – The Spoof Online Soap Opera: Day 16
The group try to pull Jurgen out of his slump in today’s Metal Big Brother – The Spoof Online Soap Opera. Get all previous episodes of Metal Big Brother here!
Imagine if Fred Durst, Adam D, Varg Vikernes, David Draiman, Kat Von D, Axl Rose, Angela Gossow, Marilyn Manson, Jurgen Toksvig, Gerard Way and Oli Sykes went into the Big Brother house. Here’s day 16!
In the wake of Varg Vikernes eviction last night, the house is a little less tense. The housemates have had a decent nights sleep without fear of being hacked up and put in min-bags during the night.
Jurgen has still not recovered from being called a ‘fucking idiot’ by his hero, Varg Vikernes. In attempts to cheer him up, Marilyn Manson offered him half of his roast pig sandwich (featuring an entire roast pig), Kat Von D offered to draw him a “totally rad tattoo” of Nils drinking his own brand of cucumber sauce and Adam D, prompted by everyone else, has offered to not say anything for the whole day. All of this cannot pull Jurgen out of his slump.
“One cannot spend their lives looking up to heroes,” David Draiman explains to an eager Oli Sykes. “We cannot make someone a king for they may turn out to be a fool.”
“I met Don King once,” says Oli. “I liked him, he had hair like one of them trolls I used to have on me pencil at school.”
Jurgen is in the garden sitting on his own. Fred Durst sits next to him on the garden bench. “What can I do to turn yo’ frown upside the fuck down?,” asks Fred. “Jab a fork into your cock-socket,” responds Jurgen with a wry smile.
Tags: metal big brother