‘The Crobar: Volume 1′ is in stores now and to celebrate, the Metal Hammer staff tell all about their greatest nights in the UK’s premier rock hang-out. A wall of death with Dave Grohl, a member of Down revealing some very dodgy secrets and groping members of bands in the toilets, anyone?

The Crobar is, without question, the rock bar of choice for anyone in London with a penchant for banging their head. Therefore, it’s only natural that it should be the watering hole of choice for the Metal Hammer staff. We’ve had on or two (or three or four…) messy nights in there and here are just a selection of our stories.

Alexander Milas, Editor:

Mine has to be grabbing dinner with Ville Valo, some guy in a grey trenchcoat runs up and licks his face. Turns out it was Dave Grohl. After what must have been a few litres of hard liquor, we finished up up the night at 3am after a very deep conversation about King Diamond and an impressive bout of doing full on, running walls of death with him in the back. Throwing a leisurely game darts with Kerry King upstairs until the wee hours over not one but two bottles of Jaeger is another – the guy’s a jedi master, boths darts and drinking-wise. I hear he likes a spot of guitar too.

James Gill, Editor At Large:

Arriving excited after the Atreyu gig.I then took my trousers down and started dancing in the middle of the bar while thinking, ‘oh shit, what have I done?’. I was joined by a stranger who had done the same and the bassist from Horse The Band was so drunk he couldn’t stand up, but still managed to start a fight by throwing beer cans at some hard dude’s mrs. In fact, what the fuck, like I can remember anything about the best nights at the Cro (like snogging this really tall girl who had an amazing body but a face like the tall one from Deathstars – which I discovered in the morning).

Vanessa Hards, Production Editor:

I can’t really pick one favourite night down there. It’s like metal’s very own Cheers bar. It’s a cliché, but you can go in there and always know someone, and there’s always something awesome blaring out of the speakers. Whether I pop in there after a gig, for a swift pre-gig tipple, or spend an entire night in there, it never disappoints. The Cro isn’t the biggest bar in the world, but dammit, it’s home.

Terry Bezer, Online Editor:

While the vast majority of my personal favourite Crobar stories involve both myself and those closest to me embarrassing themselves in all manner of ways (including one that ended with someone who is most definitely not me nearly getting arrested for urinating with both devil horns in the air outside said establishment, while shouting “look at me, ma. I’m on top of the world!”), if we’re swapping rock n’ roll stories, a very hot member of a not-very successful US band lead me to the toilets to grope their breasts.

Yes, she was female, and no, i’m not telling you who she was.

Jerry Ewing, Metal Scribe:

One of the most memorable was standing at the bar talking about Jerry Cantrell with someone, who I was supposed to be interviewing the next day. We turned round and there was this bloke with long blond hair stood looking at us. “Sorry mate, but you don’t half look like Jerry Cantrell,” offered my drinking companion. “That’s because I am,” came the reply. Eager to celebrate that we were in such a fine establishment, the night swiftly took on a Bacchanalian theme with darkened edges that were severely punished by the cold light of day the next morning. Imagine my surprise [sic] to get to Cantrell’s hotel at lunchtime for said interview only to discover he’d blown out all his press for the foreseeable future. Cantrell is now lives the life of a total abstainer.

I celebrated the birth of my daughter Roxy with Ville Valo in fine style. He was over here for two weeks on a songwriting mission for the (then) new HIM album. Any thoughts of songwriting went out the window and it was about five in the morning when we fell out of the Crobar only to end up in some hive of scum and villainy to carry on imbibing. Neither of us can recall where we ended up. Neither of us can ever recall leaving said hellhole. But Ville was on a plane back to Finland the next morning. He too is now sober.

Other highlights include Kirk Windstein relating in graphic detail what it was like to shag a she-male, playing darts upstairs with Kerry King and Jeff Hanneman and shagging the female singer of a prog rock band in the toilets under the stairs. But you probably didn’t want to hear that!

Malcolm Dome, Metal Scribe:

Sheesh…so many experiences at the finest rock bar in the world. From watching Kirk Windstein falling asleep at a table after overegging the alcoholic pudding to Bruce Dickinson being amused at a Maiden song being played while he was imbibing. To Lee Dorrian and I discussing obscure ’70s bands on several occasions. To Joe from Orange Goblin trying to impress a girl years ago by telling her he was in Def Leppard and would sign anything. To the same Joe working behind the bar to ‘help out’ and falling in the bin. To Zakk Wylde declaring his love for the place. To one barman – who shall forever be named Russell – who rejected the idea from Duff and Slash of playing the first Velvet Revolver in the bar as an exclusive, because he had no clue who they were. To the infamous Black Ice shot. To…well, there are some experiences best kept under wraps!

‘The Crobar: Volume 1′ is available now.