Skinny Jeans Will F*ck You Up

terrybezer / Blog, News / 03/06/2009 10:33am

brokencyde_90Alright, so that might not be the exact terminology, but new medical reports suggest that wearing skinny jeans are bad for your health.

According to this video report, wearing thigh-hugging, calf-straining skinny jeans can cause ‘thigh nerve syndrome’. You learn something new every day.

If you listen really, really carefully, you can hear the sound of the emo community collectively shitting themselves.

34 Comments


hahahahaha…. awesome

noobpotato

haha suck on tht emails

also lol at the brokencyde thumbnail

noobpotato

wait? i meant emos not emails haha wtf

Schlinks

More like cutting themselves as their lives have just been ruined.

haha they look gay in them anyway, and not crappin gut cutting lol wow im glad i walked away from emo friends and became metal or i mightve had bad nerves?!
lol stoopid love you guys for loving metal

niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice

I’m surprised anyone wearing trousers that tight doesn’t suffer bloodloss to their legs xD

Baggy jeans and camo trousers FTW I say! :D

causes interfility XD win
hopefully theyll die out in a few years

Damn straight – flared jeans win again!!!!!!

Man, a pair of stretch black jeans are the bollocks!! Know your history, people: back in the day if you weren’t in a pair of sprayed-on black jeans, huge white Converse or Nike’s and a black t-shirt with some obscure thrash metal band printed on it (or, even better, an import or old tour shirt) then you just looked like shit!!! It’s when you start wearing them with slip-on Vans and dayglo fuckin’ hoodies that you start looking a cunt. The faggy haircuts don’t help them either…

As worn by Chuck Billy, Dan Spitz, Dave Mustaine, Bobby Blitz and a million others… DRAINPIPE’S FOREVER!!!

king of heavy metal

skinny jeans are a health hazard because if i see any emo twat wearing some i rip their fucking heads off their shoulders

PsychoticGibbon

This sounds good, it means there is less of a chance of them being able to breed!

Sam Ellis - Thompson

Nice one Skumbo!!!
I was just about to post exactly the same thing then I saw you’d got here first!!!! /m/
Bring back skinny jeans, bullet belts and denim jackets!!!!

Anything to stop people wearing them, especially guys. Sick of all those fucking scene kids and their equally lame favourite bands walking around wearing them, looking like a bunch of 15 year old girls, and not hot.

this is funny best news i heard all day!

Skumbo is so right.
The look of drainpipes but with faded thrash or metal t-shirts and nikes is one of the greatest looks ive ever seen.
But yeh seeing fags taking it out of proportion and sticking on gay colours and having a gay ass band who dare to share the same oxygen as everyone else across their chest just gets on my tits.
I admit im wearing a pair of faded blue skinnies at the moment but wearing my MACHINE FUCKING HEAD shirt also makes for a awesome combination

i dont wanna wear pants that show off my balls

Good news indeed. Maybe this will cut down on the number of muffin tops I see each day. Don’t fat chicks know better?

this comming from a mag that covers lostprophets drain pipes are kool emos are more likley to wear jeans that are simply to small for them (or for girls) the comments here just shows me metal hammer has become a magzine for the shit band artwork hoody/ulgy ass baggy trouser wearing hellfire/hang around the train station all day crue do you people know nothing do you realy think drainpipes are somthing emos came out with orginally (there is nothing orginal about them ) god metal hammer your shitty comment at the end have you forgotn thrash herd of punk the ramones man metal fashion is disgusting now NIKE DUNKS DRAINPIPES AND LEATHER JACKETS FOREVER YOU GREEBOS

and this comming from a mag that covers lostprophets man have you people no clue do you serously think emos are orginal in the wearing of drainpipes (theres nothing orginal about them) tight jeans are an importan part of the classic metal look have you forgotn thrash metal hammer have you herd of punk THE RAMONES or was that comment to appeal to the clueless ugly band artwork hoody/ugly baggy trouser wearing sit around the train station and listn to machine head all day crue NIKE DUNKS DRAINPIPES AND BIKER JACKETS YOU GREEBOS

IVE GOT SOMETHING TO SAY TO YOU AND YOU BETTER LISTEN , A LOVE MA SKINNY JEANS AND YOU NEED A LESSON GO!

AM WAE MURRAY AND SKUMBO ON THIS ONE , FUCK ALL YOU CLUELESS SMELLY BUMFLUFF “METALHEADS”. YOU KNOW NOTHING, DRAINPIPE/SKINNY JEANS ARE MOST DEFINETLY ARE AND WERE A STAPLE IN THE 80S ERA OF HEAVY METAL , NATIONWIDE. RESPECTIVE TO THEIR PREDECESSORS. FUCK EMOS AND POSERS AND FAKES , ITS NOT WHAT YOU WEAR ITS HOW YOU WEAR IT!

GREEBO CUNTS FUCK YOUSE ALL!

R.I.P LUX!
MON THE HOOOPS!!!

PS….WELLL KISS THISSS!! MWAAHHH!!

“Bring back skinny jeans, bullet belts and denim jackets!!!!”

Amen to that, Sam Ellis – Thompson, a-fuckin’-men…

Never mind the fact they may be bad for your health, they just look stupid anyway. Damn ball-crushers, I don’t see how any man can find them comfortable.

I’m with Skumbo on this. Old school to the last. Skinny jeans pre-date emos by decades. The Ramones and the whole punk scene, Metallica, Anthrax and the whole thrash scene, the whole NWOBHM scene, the Black Metal genre starting with Venom, even the cool end of the 80s Sunset Strip scene with stuff like GnR. All skinny jeans. The baggy ass, nu metal shit was the beginning of the end when it came to looking cool. Go back and look at some pictures – it was always drainpipes. No contest. And I never heard anyone complaining their legs hurt before some moany American bitches decided they needed some more drugs for some other ailment they just made up. *rolls eyes*

http://ilovemusicandgames.com

shit… i love my skinny jeans haha

Giles (04/06/2009 9pm) – “Never mind the fact they may be bad for your health, they just look stupid anyway. Damn ball-crushers, I don’t see how any man can find them comfortable.”

Dude, my balls are HUGE and I’ve never had any problems. Ma jism just be fine too…

Years ago I used to cop shit from all the nu-metal mob all the time for still wearing my drains’. My advice? Keep wearing what you feel cool in, they’ll be trendy again and then you can say “FUCK YOU” to all the cunts who jump on that bandwagon. I bet Cliff Burton copped shit for wearing flares all the time, you think he gave a shit???

Skumbo, first of all, we’re talking about skinny jeans, not drainpipes; ultra-tight emo trousers, not slightly tight old school rocker trousers, the latter I’m not bothered about (although I personally wouldn’t wear them). True, wearing drainpipes would not crush your nuts, but skinnys would unless your one of those other douchebags who wear theirs half way down their ass.
Secondly, consider this: wearing pink used to be considered the ultimate display of manliness; now it is seen as girly or “gay”. My point is that ideas and opinions change over time.
I think every metalhead who knows a bit of history knows drainpipes were very metal in the 80s, but nowadays you’ll find that most of us prefer combats/camos or normal jeans (not baggys). The drainpipes and denim look hasn’t “died” because of emos wearing skinnys, it’s down to evolution; change in common taste (and I DO NOT mean fashion trends). But of course, nobody has the right to tell any of us what to wear, if one of us wants to wear drains, fine, there IS individuality in the metal world.

Yay :D
Drainpipes Ftw !

Heh, skinnys on guys are hot! All that nerve damage/sperm damage crap is a myth! :P

tim arnold

my cousin asked me to come shopping with him to buy skinnies. i refered him to this webiste especially the comment about heads getting ripped off. nice done

Awesome

Screw y’all I love my black skinny! Y’all can go to hell Kerry king weres them bitch! Suck on my thunder cock bitches

drainpipes are THRASH!! (and death, and glam, and grind etc)

i wear them because i admire the look of the early-mid 80’s bay area centred thrash bands.
what with the thrash hair and band shirt, how the fuck arent they metal?
and the dont squish your nuts at all ( well, if you get the right ones)

i wear skinny jeans, but wear them a size too big so the theyre not suffocating ur balls, but still have a nice fit, and it doesnt look emo at all,

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