YOU HAVE MY BOW!

Just trying to win over religious readers.

I wonder if they’ll ever stop licking the general public’s balls and gte off their fence.

Though they gave Blood Mountain a 1/5 calling it “is unorganized and feels as if the tracks are far longer than they actually are”

Which shows their knowledge of the genre

They are wrong. If nothing else metallers are united. Anyway all those I know are!
Condolences to the families and friends of Leon and Tim from the band After Death who died while touring in Brazil. I knew Tim- so young and talented, just left school- too fucking sad man.

Who the Fuck are the Guardian to decide what religions are allowed? I hate organised religion anyway, but thats beside the point!!!

The Guardian? More like the Retardian!!!

Bear in mind the ‘journalist’ who wrote that article worked for KerrWangk! I don’t think MH will be put off! I mean, he suggested Emo would be a better religion! Dick!

\m/

So Jedi was reconised as a religion from a science fiction film, but heavy metal can’t be?

Well put me in a dress and call me rita!

Surely Metal goes beyond religion and politics as it unites us no matter what our background and beliefs.

What happened to individuality?

Haha, love it! “Having been employed by Kerrang” What the poser magazine full of shit, when they say metal, they say Bring me the horizon, they can’t even tell metal from hard rock!

and they say Emo could be a better religion, that religion would die out too easy, I mean shit, we wouldn’t even have to punch them for them to cry, let alone kill themselves.

AND MY METAL AXE!

i think the campaign needs to be stronger to make sure you get a following, here is my campaign ideas, claim that Download festival, hammer festival, and Blood-stock as official religious holidays so ppl who claim metal is there religion get payed holiday leave,

also can you tell the gurdian its WHOREGOTH not horgoth spell it right!

emo as a religion? jesus wept, its already a cult full of cunts!

Nice article The writer knows what he’s talking about and has a good sense of humour.

ok this is the only religion that can work this religion is all real people none of this he made us in 7 days shit . we as the metal heads should together to show that its not about who made who nor my religion is better than yours. its about people standing together and saying fuck you because this is who we are (as i lay dying song ) . when this becomes a religion people will join because its real not named after a film nor after some story’s told, but because this is real . ask your self ” what does metal music do for me?”
it does alot for me it makes me happy when im down, it helps me thought the bad time’s , i enjoy the people that it brings , its a light . just like other religion’s it bring’s people together . on facebook i asked who would be your god and people said names that who are real. what im trying to say is this religion has no bullshit to make you wanna join, its religion that is away of life

The Guardian always prefers political correctness to genuine working class culture, typical liberal elitists telling everyone what’s good for them and labelling anyone who disagrees as a bigot…. It’s the same attitude that concentrates on banning smoking and foxhunting whilst allowing poverty to continue unabated

words fail to convey just how lame this ’cause’ is. it may well just be a bit of subversive fun but it is truely traumatic to think people would take this crap seriously.

I’d just like to make the point
the Guardian and Metalhammer are both pathetic.
What would a Metal Religion consist of and what would be your beliefs.
I love metal as much as the next metalhead but making a religion? its just moronic

Fuck the guardian and the horse they rode in to town on!!!!!

EVERYTHING LOUDER THAN EVERYTHING ELSE \M/

In response to the teeth of gods, only a monumental twat could possibly be offended by this campaign. Do we not have a right to freedom of expression?

I like metalhammer, and yes i like metal, but trying to make metal a religion, is just plain fucking retarded. Idiocy of the highest order. And wtf, most “metalheads” bitch and moan when a metal band they like “sells-out”, and now they are trying to make it a religion – yeah cz that isn’t mainstream or selling out at all >_>

While I think it’s not a particularly valid “religion” (I mean, there’s no ONE central being or predefined set of idols…so it’s not a cult in other words…) , metalheads are ANYTHING but disorganised. Haven’t they heard of the RATM Christmas single? Perhaps they were too busy being stuck up their own arses to realise.

Like it or not, his point is a that we’ll flirt with too many subgenres to get into the top five. And he’s probably right. What we need to do is prove the bastard wrong.

Third message lol

I managed to post my initial response and follow it up after I’d skimmed the article. Guess this proves why you should do that before commenting.

it is not a matter of denying a freedom of expression or being offended (as i was not offended, merely suprised at the level of low-brow tribalism on display)

I can bet every last penny that if fans of RnB made a similar gesture you would all be crying and whinging about how lame it is.

it is a simple act of stirring the pot on behalf of the guardian and a further act of futile ‘rebellion’ by people who think that drawing pentagrams on their school books is naughty.

furthermore, one of the greatest things about metal/punk/hardcore and their many subgenres was that they lacked a real heirachy and exude an ideal of secular unity.

all these mindless campaigns like getting RATM to number one is just another nail in the coffin of an ideology being poisoned by rapid cycle fads and a lack of appreciation of the music.

Metal = Good
Taking It This F*cking Seriously = Not Good

The Teeth of Gods: agree 100%.

Small point. The Rage Against the Machine campaign did not show how metalheads could unite under the banner of metal. People were united AGAINST Simon Cowell and the X Factor, not pro-metal.

They’re right tbf. This whole thing is pretty embarrasing.

You have my axe!

WOOPWOOP! Dom Lawson has commented on the guardians coment section!

The guy works for Kerrang for fuck sake. What does he know? What a douche.

“I used to work at Kerrang so I know what metalheads are like” Ffs!

Metal has many faces and it will be tragic if people let their personal tastes get in the way of something beautiful Xx

I consider music to be my God and therefore I believe in Metal. I was a committed Christian until my early twenties then I began to realise just how much it could not apply to my life.

Metal has given me so much pleasure in so many ways – I’ve made amazing friends, been to some kick-ass gigs and have just had some life enriching experiences. It’s done more for me in the last 5 years – yep, I became a metalhead when I was 30 – that any organised religion. I have mental health issues and going to gigs makes me feel a bit better, so much so that my psychiatrist says I should go as often as I can, seriously!

Religion has caused so much hate and evil in this world while music, and specifically metal here, brings people together and promotes individuality, self belief and goodwill. It teaches people to respect people for what they are and not what they look like or what they do – in theory. It frustrates me somewhat when people say that a so called popular band isn’t metal enough or they criticise others for liking a metal band. Metal is a broad church and there is room for everyone. It has to continually evolve and progress so that it remains relevant and fresh to new fans and new creativity.

I therefore assert that metalhead is a positive force for good and should be counted as a religion.

The Guardian can suck my metal plums.

I don’t understand what is so funny about my name.

Fucking Newspaper

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heavy metal fans are already united, and we don’t need a census to prove that.

Who gives a shit what the Guardian think? It’s only read by middle class pretentious tossers who listen to James (I’m a cu*t) Blunt anyway.

If you believe in something, go for it. But its not about gods, demons, comandments or any of that bible nonsense. Its about uniting. Binding together to show other people “This is what we believe in. Fuck you if you hate it.”. Its about friendship, brotherhood, good times and fun. So yeah. Heavy should be a religion but not have a heirarchy. Its about binding people together, not taking a bunch of rules from some invisible ghost man. God bless metal.

All Hail Satan!

haha mind a had the jehovas at ma door bout 10 year ago,had seputura roots blastin on the sounds,told em 2 fuk off,this is my religon, then again FUK RELIGON FUK POLITICS FUK THA LOT O YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSS

Satan does not exist nor does God. Heavy Metal exists. End of

Fuck that!!! I’m a Metal head through and through. But im a Nihilist so i don’t support religion in any way shape or form and any way i like Metal because it’s different from everything else even other forms of Metal. United front FUCK YEAH! But over zealous fuck wits no.

metal should totally be recognised , and we should get tax breaks for it , but the 11 commandments could be as dumb and divisive as those in any relegion . You don’t like Mastodon ? Burrrn the heretic ! If you don’t have at least one part of King Diamonds ‘Them’ concept then you ain’t a true believer …. It needs ot be as all inclusive and with as little rules as possible otherwise you do get all this factious stuff .

One rule : you like Heavy Stuff ? You wanna Rock out ? Thats cool , thats your right and i salute you brother .

There are no other specifics required . It can’t be used to put over specific bands or internal genres .

I don’t know if becoming a relegion is actually bringing it down in a way – i remember being in Belgium , in an Irish Bar , with Norwegians , Australians and Indians who’d all come to rock out for Maiden ( and others , but mainly Maiden ) and feeling that unity that no matter what creed or colour or where you’re born , gettting on and having a good time with people you’ve never met before , but brought together by enjoying METAL and accepting that is makes brothers of us all . Even the Chicks

So if this works, I could get the radio @ work changed to Planet Rock on religious grounds. Awesome!

I am honestly flabbergasted (that’s right) by the amount of people taking this so seriously and the anger at the guy from Kerrang! just writing an irreverant piece to fill space.

We all enjoy metal. That’s great. We go to gigs, chat to like minded individuals and get crunk (that’s there for ironic appeal). However all is not rosy.

Firstly, ad hominem arguments are always inappropriate especially considering the Kerrang! guy is basically right. Just because he wrote for Kerrang! does not mean he is ignorant to the prevalent elitism within the community. As I write this I’m listening to Kylesa. I know that some metal fans will have an insult at hand; not hardcore enough, cheap Mastodon/Baroness knock-offs, trying to be trendy etc. etc..

In fact Kerrang! guy probably had numerous letters with the kind of insults similar to those on this thread week in week out from ‘real’ metal fans criticising the magazine. He is probably one of the best people to write such an article!

Like with anything subjectively valued it is going to end up being divisive. Listen to the podcast and how Beez gets increasingly irate due to fools claiming certain bands aren’t metal. If DevilDriver aren’t real metal and Lamb of God are sell-outs then what is metal eh? Are we allowed to listen to non-metal, I mean I enjoy all manner of stuff but would this be allowed? What is a genuine metalhead? I can’t grow my hair long, can I be a metalhead?

Oh as a side note, I don’t listen to metal to position myself AGAINST others. No-one should define themselves by the type of music they listen to. That is what this ‘religion’ thing seems to be about to some; a wilful act of segregation, institutionalising the ‘woe is me’ attitude that some metal fans exhibit.

What is there to complain about or rebel against! So what if The Black Eyed Peas, Rihanna and Simon Cowell reign supreme in mainstream music. The charts don’t matter anymore, the internet gives us access to innumerable bands and sites like Last.fm allow us to connect to metalheads across the globe. It’s not as if we are disenfranchised by the system.

Finally, and inevitably, all debate just degenerates into insulting the individual and the publication, relying on prejudice and cliched characterisations, something the metal community never complains about when used on them (!). This just illustrates the collective chip on the shoulder of many metal fans.

I am honestly flabbergasted (that’s right) by the amount of people taking this so seriously and the anger at the guy from Kerrang! just writing an irreverent piece to fill space.

We all enjoy metal. That’s great. We go to gigs, chat to like minded individuals and get crunk (that’s there for ironic appeal). However all is not rosy.

Firstly, ad hominem arguments are always inappropriate especially considering the Kerrang! guy is basically right.

Just because he wrote for Kerrang! does not mean he is ignorant to the prevalent elitism within the community. As I write this I’m listening to Kylesa. I know that some metal fans will have an insult at hand; not hardcore enough, cheap Mastodon/Baroness knock-offs, trying to be trendy etc. etc..

In fact Kerrang! guy probably had numerous letters with the kind of insults similar to those on this thread week in week out from ‘real’ metal fans criticising the magazine. He is probably one of the best people to write such an article!

Like with anything subjectively valued it is going to end up being divisive. Listen to the podcast and how Beez gets increasingly irate due to fools claiming certain bands aren’t metal. If DevilDriver aren’t real metal and Lamb of God are sell-outs then what is metal eh?

Oh as a side note, I don’t listen to metal to position myself AGAINST others. No-one should define themselves by the type of music they listen to. That is what this ‘religion’ thing seems to be about to some; a wilful act of segregation, institutionalising the ‘woe is me’ attitude that some metal fans exhibit.

What is there to complain about anyway! So what if The Black Eyed Peas, Rihanna and Simon Cowell reign supreme in mainstream music. The charts don’t matter anymore, the internet gives us access to innumerable bands and sites like Last.fm allow us to connect to metalheads across the globe. It’s not as if we are disenfranchised by the system.

Finally, and inevitably, all debate just degenerates into insulting the individual and the publication, relying on prejudice and negative stereotypes, something the metal community never complains about when used on them (!). This just illustrates the collective chip on the shoulder of many metal fans.

I am honestly flabbergasted (that’s right) by the amount of people taking this so seriously and the anger at the guy from Kerrang! just writing an irreverent piece to fill space.

We all enjoy metal. That’s great. We go to gigs, chat to like minded individuals and get crunk (that’s there for ironic appeal). However all is not rosy.

Firstly, ad hominem arguments are always inappropriate especially considering the Kerrang! guy is basically right.

Just because he wrote for Kerrang! does not mean he is ignorant to the prevalent elitism within the community. As I write this I’m listening to Kylesa. I know that some metal fans will have an insult at hand; not hardcore enough, cheap Mastodon/Baroness knock-offs, trying to be trendy etc. etc..

In fact Kerrang! guy probably had numerous letters with the kind of insults similar to those on this thread week in week out from ‘real’ metal fans criticising the magazine. He is probably one of the best people to write such an article!

Like with anything subjectively valued it is going to end up being divisive. Listen to the podcast and how Beez gets increasingly irate due to fools claiming certain bands aren’t metal. If DevilDriver aren’t real metal and Lamb of God are sell-outs then what is metal eh?

Oh as a side note, I don’t listen to metal to position myself AGAINST others. No-one should define themselves by the type of music they listen to. That is what this ‘religion’ thing seems to be about to some; a wilful act of segregation, institutionalising the ‘woe is me’ attitude that some metal fans exhibit.

What is there to complain about or rebel against! So what if Black Eyed Peas, Rihanna and Simon Cowell reign supreme in mainstream music. The charts don’t matter anymore, the internet gives us access to innumerable bands and sites like Last.fm allow us to connect to metalheads across the globe. It’s not as if we are disenfranchised by the system.

Finally, and inevitably, all debate just degenerates into insulting the individual and the publication, relying on prejudice and clichéd characterisations, something the metal community never complains about when used on them (!). This just illustrates the collective chip on the shoulder of many metal fans.

In answer to your question Mr Bezer UR DAMN RIGHT WE CAN UNITE FOR THIS CAUSE!!!! As it is widely known metal is a way of life and if the metalheads of this country can show the passion for metal like I know they can it is near enough certain that we can unite as one once again to achieve our goal!!!

HAMMER! What are we putting down? Heavy Metal? Metal? What? I’m asuming it’ll be heavy metal?

Cwej and SOT, thank you for posting such thoughful, wise and well constructed posts.

“One rule : you like Heavy Stuff ? You wanna Rock out ? Thats cool , thats your right and i salute you brother .”

I couldn’t have said it any better myself (as a metal mad SISTER) \m/

@ Claire, great point, and exactly the reason I support this.

@ StraightOuttaThrace, good argument, but was it THAT important that you had to post it 3 times? x)

HEAVY METAL WAY OF LIFE SINCE 1985 FOR ME AS I WAS ABOUT 12 I THINK NOW 34 YEARS OF AGE AND I LOVE IT !!!!

WELLCOME TO MY CHURCH OF METALNESS AND RELIGIAN THOUGH IM CHRISTIAN

I don’t think this is a great idea. If metal becomes officially recognised as a religion then there will be some selfish people who no doubt will try and claim benefits of being part of a religion. I can see the similarities between the devotion of metalheads to the music and a religion – the music is our hymns, the gigs and festivals are our church and I’m sure everyone has something they consider their bible (For me it’s Spotify). Surely that’s all we need – why the need to get this devotion officially recognised? It already is recognised in the media by the way they often paint us as mindless fanatics.
On a purely conscientious point of view, I think using something as serious as the national census to show a devotion to style of music is quite foolish. The census is there to paint a picture of the UK population – the musical tastes of a minority are irrelevant to that information.

…but what about the “Demonhunter” paradox?
just been reading about orphaned land in the new MH
i would say that this is what metal should be; breaking down the barriers and walls of society such as religion and nationalism and finding a common ground from which we can all co exist peacefully
another example would be paradise lost new album “Faith divides us Death unites us”
however i will most likely put metal as my religion on the census to show “solidarity”.

Well at least we have proof Heavy Metal exists…

i agree that its pointless making it a religion…and to the guy who said bmth arent metal and said they were hard rock your wrong, they are metal and i would say crappy nickleback are hard rock and there is a clear difference between them

doing this will be the death of heavy metal.

if it is a religion, no radio or tv station will touch it

this is a really bad idea

“Having been employed by Kerrang! magazine, I know what metalheads are like.” This is where I lol’d.

Sorry for the triple post everyone!

“Well at least we have proof Heavy Metal exists…”

Absolutely. I just wish that metallers, whatever metal you like, would be more accepting of all the different sub genres. My own tastes tend to lean towards traditional stuff, symphonic, Gothic with some Thrash and Black but to me it’s ALL good – and I think that’s Metal Hammer’s strength as a publication.

i think it will be awsome to be a religon then i can tell those bastard preachers down wolverhampton i have a religion lol but more seriously is uniting us even more and the guardien is just scared cuz (in the words of Tenacious D) you can’t destroy the metal!

It not like were gunna have proper rules tbf i think its gunna be awsome being able to put that on a job application or summat

The Guardian can KISS MY AXE …….. METAL FOREVER BABY WOOOOOOOOOOO…………. \m/@@\m/

IRON MAIDEN is my religion

hahaha that guardian article is the biggest piece of shit ever by working at Kerrang i know about metal heads Kerrang haven’t been Metal for fuckin years .MH is a Metal magazine Kerang=The new Smash Hits

hahaha that guardian article is the biggest piece of shit ever by working at Kerrang i know about metal heads Kerrang haven’t been Metal for fuckin years .MH is a Metal magazine Kerrang=The new Smash Hits

This blows…….

Ah now here, ye do know that religion is the belief in a higher power, I’ve been studying it for too many years, it’s mandatory, and I’m pretty sure that all the religions that I’ve studied believe in something.
What the hell is metal going to believe in and worship, Ozzy? Thor, Odin? Cause Norse have them pretty much covered.

Metal is a music/art form. Can we not leave it at that and not make ourselves look like twats.
Yeah people said Jedi, but think of the state of them people, they actually probably do worship Yoda. Do you really want to be viewed in the same light as them people?

And anyways, I’m a Dudeist Priest, an ancient philosophy that preaches non-preachiness and practices as little as possible. Watch the Big Lebowski and then get ordained via internet

Will we need to celebrate Ramaiden?

1 solid month of listening to nothing but maiden?

FUCK YEAH METAL!

BOW DOWN TO THE GODS

Hahaha, count me in! So, who’re the potential candidates for being God?

I am a (struggling!!!) Christian but for me Rammstein music is powerful, dynamic and, dare I say, sacred to me. Rammstein’s music (and I have been into this for eight years) does so much more for me than the vast majority of Christian music. Freely admit it. End of!