The Metal Oscars 2010!
Best use of a Metallica song in an extended zombie-slaying montage, anyone?
The Oscars are a bit shite really, aren’t they? It’s always going to be chock full of movies about people fighting life-threatening illnesses or some sort of moralistic bull-shit. Someone from the Oscar academy look us in the eye and say Drag Me To Hell wasn’t one of the best motion pictures of the last 12 months and we’ll flash our dinkles at them in disgust.
We’ve strayed off of the path there, haven’t we? This morning, we had a think about what categories and awards we’d hand out if we were in charge of the Oscars.
Without further delay, here is Metal Hammer’s Metal Oscars 2010! Add your own in our comments section.
Best use of a Metallica song in an extended zombie-slaying montage: Zombieland (For Whom The Bell Tolls)
Most broken promise of the appearance of an actual goat-horned demonic spawn of Satan’s loin: Antichrist
Best use of old-lady projectile vomit in a dream sequence: Drag Me To Hell
Battle sequence that would have been most improved by a Manowar song playing in the background: Avatar
Movie that would be most improved by an inexplicable cameo by Ronnie James Dio: The Hurt Locker
Most metal bad guy: The Doberman in Up
Best dance sequence: Drag Me To Hell.
Most ‘goff’ film on this year’s nomination list: ‘Coraline’
The “should of been given an Oscar purely for having a talking, possessed goat in it’ award: Drag Me To Hell.
The ‘metal fail’ award: Inglorious Basterds (for not including Rammstein in a movie that includes Nazis).
Best sighting of Oderus Urungus from GWAR: District 9







“most metal bad guy – the doberman in Up” haha best
Drag Me to Hell was by far the best film of the past year.
And I think you’ll find Avatar would’ve done better with ‘Battle Metal’ by Turisas.
tut tut metal hammer, you of all people should know that rammstein have nothing to do with the nazis, and in fact they are more communist in political terms (see song: “links 2 3 4″). What you ahve shown here is complete ignorance as you are just fueling false media hype about rammstein. I am dissapointed.
There’s always one…
They’re a German band, their music would have sounded awesome soundtracking the Nazis in the movie. We’re not saying that Rammstein are Nazis, nor are we commenting on their political stance at all.
Jesus…
Excellent point Communist Flisk.
Rammstein wrote Links 234 in order to tell people that they have nothing nor want anything to do with Nazis. Hence the line “Sie wollen mein herz am rechten fleck doch seh ich dan nach unten weg, Da shlaegt es Links”….as in left wing, NOT right wing!
Everyone knows Rammstein aren’t nazis, commu-something. Go back to sleep.
While I agree that Rammstein’s music would work well in Inglourious Basterds, it would have only fueled the preposterous allegations that the band are nazi sympathisers
Thank you, Enigmatic Beerdrinker, for understanding the point of this piece.
If that was not your intent then i apologise, however, that is how it sounded (are we just going to copy/paste back and forth now? haha)
and tom does however make a very very good point, is that even if it was witht he best of intentions, some members of the media (german media specifically) would have taken that the wrong way and try and ruin rammstein’s image due to thier ignorance.
Communist: Apology accepted.
This is a metal site. Anyone who likes metal knows that the Rammstein/Nazi debate was cleared up about 8 years ago.
If you could stop stringing this out now, I’d really appreciate it.
Cheers.
Nazis flicked my phallus.
Sure thing dude!
Question is…. which manowar song… so many to choose from, and they are all so cheesy….
Will you be at Hammerfest Beez? I’ll buy you a pint if you are!
Blumpkin of the year: Dead Snow
Zombie cock bite of the year: Dead Snow
Best Tag line: Eins, Zwei, Die: Dead Snow
DVD title menu of the year: Dead Snow
I kinda liked Dead Snow
@ Danny –
With regard to your Eins Zwei Die comment, this ties in very well with a fairly recent metal hammer cover:
Eins Zwei Die – RAMMSTEIN!
Best animated film – The Haunted World of El Superbeasto.
Also features the best sing along chorus of the year – altogether now “Zombie Nazis messin up my day now…”
@ Dave Ha! I remember that. Why didn’t I think of that? And I call myself a Rammstein fan! Disgraceful. I guess someone should probably Bestraffe mich
@Danny – I watched Dead Snow again on Saturday nite. What a classic film.
i know this isn’t to do with films but did anyone else see slayer on harry hills tv burp. it was pure genius i think it should get a special recognition award or something
@Moshpitmum – brilliant movie. Everybody should see it!!
PeachyT, yeah I saw that, it was fucking epic.
i agree on all fronts…
i havent seen up yet so i didnt know about the domerman till now, i saw him and thought “yeah that dog is pretty metal!” and then the voice………..I fucking lol’d
also i loved zombieland, i head banged to my favorite song being blasted out of the cinema speakers…IT WAS IMMENSE!!!!!!!
Drag me to hell was fucking terrible, its no diff from most new horror film, District 9 should have won all the oscars but ohwell.
Haha, District 9 is a great film and I love the whole Oderus Urungus thing, pure quality Beez!
Maybe some deathstars would have been good in inglourious basterds,and does this mean that because the metallica song was in zombieland that they believe that zombies should butcher everyone and take over the earth??and only the weak minded hypocrits would put rammstein and nazism together,lets face it any german movie would be a hell of a lot better with a rammstein soundtrack,Shindler list would kick donkey balls with tracks like sonne,du hast and mutter!!!
I lol’d at Most Metal Bad Guy! xD
Communist or no, this was another completely unfunny post by terrybezer.
Lolzmagasm.
I’ll be there, Diablo. Mine’s a Jack!
hey inglourious bastards kicked ass and christopher waltz won best supporting actor for it so that was cool nut a rammstein song would of made the film perfect lol
No relevance to nothing but arent sonisphere making an announcement tonight? I’m gunna download but im curious what time and shizz.
See you in the queen Vic Thursday night so Beez!
@Jordan, Midnight just like last weeks, so technically tomorrow…
@ beez. what happened to the metal big brother thing? thats 5 minutes of my day i have to fill up with porn, and snarky lists. bring it back!
This is totally off topic, but where the fuck is the Sonisphere announcement?
Sonisphere announcement anyone?
lmao, the Doberman in Up. Too fucking true.
i heard something about a sonisphere announcement ……did it get cancelled?
Wow, seriously. This is a fucking slow news day if Hammer’s decided to have a pop at the Oscar’s. I spent all night arguing about whether the Oscar’s are rigged or not, but this is a bit silly.
And I don’t know whether this makes much difference, but The Hurt Locker; which won 6 Oscar’s, had three Ministry song’s in it. Granted, this just pleased me because James Cameron and his jumped up, CGI-heavy, Smurf ridden, blase hunk of shite “Avatar” saw him lose out to his ex wife.
Ah, now I feel better. Now, back to the news.
Still no Sonisphere announcement…
That opening of Zombieland blew me & the missus away. We were not expecting it & love Metallica so damn much.
Ha… the Rammstein/ Nazi thing still makes me laugh.
Coraline “goff” in everyway possible.
Very funny Mr Beezer.
Sorry about the double post but to George L/bauld/Phantasmagasm the Sonisphere announcment was sometime this week. No day was given but I have been hearing whispering that it will be on Wednesday.
just to be pedantic, what would be the relevance of using rammstein (or any other modern music) in a film based in the 1940s!?! it just wouldn’t fit!
Made my day! Doberman in up, comedy gold!
Doberman comment was gold. Drag me to hell was shit. Was pushed up a level to ok by the last minute. Drag me to hell really disappionted me, and i had low expectations from a spiderman director.
Manowar should integrate the battle scenes from Avatar in the background of their shows.
The use of metallica wasn’t the best in the world – as much as I love the song, it didn’t match the pace of the montage, and they skipped the part of the song with the most tension after the intro…
And the Rammstein jab was pathetic childish bullshit
but Drag Me To Hell was a terrible, terrible film, Hammer.