Rammstein’s ‘Pussy’ Video: For Those At Work
The new Rammstein video has tits, sausages (both actual and metaphorical) and a whole shedload more. It’s very NSFW. Team Hammer study the pornographic video in minute detail for those of you unable to watch the vid at work.
0:01 – Gyrating woman opens the video. She looks slutty. We like slutty.
0:08 – 0:32 – A French maid, a cheerleader, a horny secretary, a stripper in leopard print sliding down a pole (it’s an actual pole, not a euphemism for a penis you dirty beggar), a ridiculously hot chick in a bubble bath.
0:42 – Till Linderman licks and spanks his cleaner. Call us suspicious but we don’t think she actually makes her living as a cleaner. The kinky French Maids outfit gives it away.
0:53 – Cristoph Schneider in a suit having a meeting with his sexy secretary. That’s a gusset shot! Have you seen that film Secretary with Maggie Gyllenhaal? You really should. The best spanking scenes from a movie ever. Easily.
1:13 – Check the look in Till Lindermann’s eye as he shouts “you’ve got a pussy”. He loves it! Oh yeah, that reminds us. There’s music playing too.
1:22 – Alright, enough of the band playing the song. Can we see some tits now?
1:25 – That’s more like it! Paul Landers throws money at a scantily-clad blonder riding a bucking bronco.
1:34 – Boooooooooooooooobies…and Landers is getting off with her. Nice work if you can get it.
1:41 – Oliver Riedel is bound to a chair and wearing some bondage gear. A hot dominatrix wearing crotch less pants licks and bites him before battering him with a riding crop. We bet he’s seen Secretary.
2:03 – Hold on, was that her gash?
2:05 – Yep, that was definitely her gash. Woman spreads eagle in front of a bowl of sausage and mash and then eats the sausage. Tesco’s sausages are better than the ones you get from Waitrose, just in case you cared.
2:15 – Richard J. Kruspe lets a woman out of a suitcase in a hotel room who he then dances with and sprays champagne over before she gets her boobs out. He gets off with her, bends her over and spanks her. If you haven’t got the gist by now, this isn’t going to be shown on CBeebies.
2:32 – Keyboardist Flake is depicted as having a vagina (the second of the video) and a hot women goes down on him. This is the same guy who gets buggered by Lindermann on stage every night. The average therapy costs £30 for a 50 minute session in the UK, FYI.
2:40 – The girl from the above part gets naked and mounts a stuffed-bear carpet like the one in The Adams Family movie. No real reason but it looks cool.
2:45 – OK, NOW it’s hardcore. A hot blonde has just begun to finger herself with one hand and film it with the other. We’ve never met anyone willing to do this in the past. We’re clearly not hanging out at the right places.
3:00 – Linderman stands at a podium and waves a German flag around. Oh yeah, we’re noticing the music again.
3:13 – Schneider’s just got his knob out! This is an outrage and cannot be allowed! What do you mean that’s sexist?! Fuck you!
3:16 – Blowjob!
3:17 – And another!
3:25 – That’s actually hardcore pornography! Every member of Rammstein is getting their end away. Can we suggest that Girl’s Aloud make a video like this next? Cheryl Cole can have a bestiality scene (which would still be a step-up from her rancid husband). Louis Walsh FTW.
3:54 – Jizz. Can you think of another music video with jizz in it? By a band that play arenas? We salute you, you crazy fuckers!
3:57 – The end. We’re off for a cigarette and a lie down.
Rammstein have announced their first UK tour in years for the start of 2010.
Rammstein recently revealed the cover of their new single which depicts them as naked women and an equally bonkers album cover for their forthcoming album, ”Liebe Ist Fur Alle Da’. The new album will be released on October 19th.
Get our track-by-track guide to the new Rammstein album!
Check out our Albums Of The Decade feature on Rammstein’s ‘Mutter’ and revisit Rammstein’s past with our vintage ‘Reise Reise feature.
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This made me laugh! Well done!
So this is what metal hammer staff do while at work
30 quid!? Where!?!?!?!
2.05 I beg to differ. Tesco’s sausages have wibbly bits in. Sainsbury’s win the supermarket sausage challeng hands down, although I have not yet attempted to dip one of their sausages in my sauerkraut.
Very illustrative!
Perfect description of an hysterical video. Is it me or have they just killed off in one blow every single other artist who reckons they ‘push the boundaries’?
“So Mr Manson, you think you are controversial? … We don’t think so … Top this if you can”
Legends
Thanks for that – need some alone time before I can attempt to view it!
2:45 – you should come to Rugby
I wouldnt wanna fuck a rugby chick you might as well fuck a man and stick a wig on him and some lipstick ha
Louis Walsh FTW
What a stupid fuckin’ song! Complete BS. Watched the video out of curiosity and wtf? All music videos will eventually be porno, the way things are going…
Wonderful. Educational and inspirational.
Rammstein making having fun with our American puritanical silliness? Or just wanting to come on some blonde chicks as they rock?
omfg i was actualy shocked when i saw it. Never in my life i have seen more porn in a music video. The singer was prity funny when i decided to atach his face to a buff orn star body as if it was his body…..nice port production.
still can’t believe they’ve did that…OMFG LOL
disgusting. the reason the world is the way it is. full of sickos with no respect for themselves or others. hopefully they get some filthy disease from it.
its a diferent video ok ..but at the end, i did not remenber the riffs or the song…so means its a not exciting song !! what you guys think about the song?
It’s funny how most people are shocked by the video. I bet most of those shocked watch porn on their PC or at the cable TV. Rammstein present the reality. Everybody fucks with easy these days and because it’s so easy we also play with toys while doing so. The girl filming herself while fingering is pretty common. You think your daughters are safe? Maybe they film themselves over the net for some easy cash at night. Do you deny the fact that many girls/guys like themselves filmed while getting fucked; Or do you believe that chicks won’t get laid just to go up the corporate ranks; Wake up and smell the coffee. This is shit happens every day and they hit the nail to the head. Well done guys.
Omfg…Marlyn Manson did not such type of shit…they are in lack of ideas ? or the crisis scared them ?…and they decided to film a porno clip (very creative i’d say) with stupid lyrics….This is soo downhill for them…YOU ROCK RAMMSTEIN
This song is made to “shock” you. And video too. It’s just a great picture of how perverted our society has become, and we all play a role in it. So stop acting as if you don’t jerk off or tend to wander off somewhere in that little perv mind of yours, because everyone knows you do. It’s something you see or do every day or every once in a while, so what’s the problem with seeing that in a video? Rammstein just did a great job, especially if there’s “shocked” people around, and you can either agree with that or put sth. in your sauerkraut.
to anonymous you need to getout more you obviously don’t know Rammstein very well and they are out to shock,thats it and yes the vid is very naughty but funny at the same time and as you can see with the way it’s put together they are not having sex at all but it’s bits of porn vids and themselves put together so it’s not even thier bits which are showing,so as for catching anything,not bloody likely.This is Rammstein doing what they do best.Bring it on guys
Love the description at 3:25. XD
Awesome song/video. gotta lol at the people pissed about it lol.
You gotta be kidding me – what a bunch of shit.
Fitting the name of the song is PUSSY, because it sounds like they all traded in their dicks for one when they wrote it. Bunch of bubblegum pop compared to what they USED to do – ROCK.
“Tesco’s sausages are better than the ones you get from Waitrose, just in case you cared.”
This is a very german Bratwurst!
all these people complaining about the video….why the hell did you seek it out on the web to view it in the first place…no doubt you heard about it beforehand…you don’t like it don’t watch it….it is your bitching that gets music/videos banned or censored…
all these people complaining about the video….why the hell did you seek it out on the web to view it in the first place…no doubt you heard about it beforehand…you don’t like it don’t watch it….it is your bitching that gets music/videos loads of free publicity…
fixed
and Till Linderman for world president tbh
Rammstein dont actually do anything sexual in the video they have doubles playing there parts in the sex scences .. watch the making of the video .. it tells you on there
peronsisimas mis idolos ramstein,metal hammer,marlin manson
What’s a metaphorical tit?
Love Til’s hand gestures he does in the vid. Too bad this will never air on American t.v. You have a PUSSY I have a DICK whats the problem.
Too bad Rammstein sucks ass at making music.
Morrison’s posh sausages are absolutely belting, the ones with all caramelised onion and balsamic vinegar and that business, bloody marvellous.
Um guys, you do know that Richards real name is Richard Z Kruspe, not Richard J Kruspe?
Ah well, this made me laugh ^__^, alot
Booooooooooobies!