Reunions, feuds, unexpected triumphs and hardcore pornography. These are the 11 biggest stories of 2009!

1. Rammstein’s ‘Pussy’ Video.
We’re not easily shocked around these parts. We nodded approvingly at ‘2 Girls, 1 Cup’, we chuckled heartily at a possessed goat chomping the fuck out of someone in ‘Drag Me To Hell’ but when an arena-sized rock band release a video that has blatant hardcore pornography in the video for their big comeback track, we were shocked. We wasn’t, however, appalled or outraged. Instead, we thought that they were the men and that The Saturdays should do this at some point in the near future.

2. Machine Head pull out of Sonisphere and then return.
When Machine Head and Sonisphere went to war over who plays where on the bill at Knebworth, all that went through our minds was that we wasn’t going to get to throw air-drums at the beginning of ‘Imperium’, all sound like our testicles had been misplaced while trying to replicate Robb on the falsetto middle bit of ‘Halo’ and scream “let freedom ring with a shotgun blast!!!” into each others ear-canals. Thankfully, they put their problems behind them and Machine Head were comfortably the best band at Sonisphere. Roll on The Black procession!

3. Kerry King reveals the big 4 could tour together.
Kerry King told us first. If he didn’t look like a man who eats car parts, we’d have openly weeped and hugged him until he removed us with brute force. The big 4 playing together might still happen in 2010 at Sonisphere. If it does, the betting for the 2010 edition of this chart is closed already.

4. Faith No More return.
The return of one of the most influential rock bands of the last 20 years could not be played down. Brixton was immense but watching 60,000 people lose their shit to ‘We Care A Lot’, croon their heart out to ‘Easy’ and throw all manner of funky white boy moves throughout FNM’s triumphant Download set was nothing short of sensational. By the time Reading rolled around, FNM were on the kind of form that not only justified the furore about their return but provided one of the best sets in recent memory. Now, if they’d just make an album…

5. Iron Maiden win a Brit award.
There’s not a lot of things that Maiden haven’t achieved over the years. Stadium shows in every continent, number one albums and singles, awards for fencing, five-a-side tournaments, tiddlywinks; you name it, maiden have an award for it. Even still, in February, Iron Maiden won their first Brit award and in doing so, planted the flag (a flag with Eddie’s face on) in the centre of a room full of industry back-scratchers and talentless testicle-jugglers. As always, we salute the mighty Iron Maiden. Up the f’n Irons!

6. The passing of Mike Alexander
The worst news of 2009 without question. Mike Alexander 1977 – 2009.

7. People still care about Limp Bizkit.
As insane as it sounds, Limp Bizkit created one of the biggest tidal waves of 2009. A band that were amongst the most hated rock bands around, made tens of thousands of people go every colour of ape-shit you want to imagine at Download. Every story we put on this site was amongst the biggest of its week. in short, Limp bizkit are still a big deal in 2009 and on the back of their UK performances this year, it’s thoroughly deserved. Fuck all y’all haters.

8. Slipknot slay Download.
When Slipknot were announced to headline at Download, we knew they’d bring something special but it was about more than pyro or guys battering the shit out of canisters onstage. This was about you – 60,000 of you that sung the intro to ‘Duality’ and every one of you who crounched down before making all hell break loose at the end of ‘Spit It Out’. That Slipknot were on the most white-hot form imaginable only added to it. Gig of 2009? You bet your ass.

9. Anthrax – Return of the Bush!
Dan Nelson was good. Dan Nelson was really good. We saw him on HMS Hammer at the Golden Gods, we heard the rough mixes of Anthrax’s then-finished studio album – the guy was decent. Let’s be honest, he still wasn’t John Bush though. When Bush brought that voice to Knebworth for Sonisphere, Anthrax showed just why they still deserve to stand amongst the most loved bands in metal. Here’s to more Bush in 2010. Maybe.

10. The debut of Hammerfest.
Quite simply, if you weren’t here, you missed out. The metal community spirit reigned-supreme in Prestatyn, North Wales. Everyone who attended had at least one side-splitting story (and not all of them can be published on t’internet). We’ll be back in 2010 and we’re bringing some of the best bands in metal with us again (Five Finger Death Punch, Suicidal Tendencies, DevilDriver, Iced Earth, Skindred and more). You’d be f’n mental to miss it.

11. Marily Manson at Download.
One of the most talked about events of the festival calendar was Marilyn Manson’s ramshackle set at Download. Was he off his tits? Was he fucking with us? Has he lost it in all in a hail of cheeseburgers? His recent shows suggest not all is completely lost but, unfortunately, Download is the thing Manson will most be remembered for in 2009.