Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition…unless you get a call from Metal Hammer, that is. This month, it’s 3 Inches Of Blood’s turn to brave the awkward questions!

WHY DID YOUR DRUMMER ATTACK SAXON AT HARD ROCK HELL IN MINEHEAD LAST NOVEMBER? DAVID ASKEW VIA EMAIL
Cam Pipes (vocals): “Some of the details are a little hazy right now, to be honest. What we can say is… that it was a disappointing situation that we will deal with when we get home. That’s all I can say. End of story.”

YOU NOW NEED TO FIND A NEW DRUMMER, BUT WITH THE REVOLVING LINE-UP IT MUST BE ALL IN A DAY’S WORK.
CHIEF INQUISITOR VIA WORCESTER
Cam: “Well it’s not an enviable task. But… shit happens.”
Shane Clark (guitar): “Yeah, shit happens, and we’re not quitters.”
Cam: “In order to maintain you have to sink or swim. And when speed bumps come in the road you weather the storm.”
Hammer: Any more cliches you wish to add?
Cam: “No. Thanks for asking.”

TWO ORCS ARE APPROACHING YOUR PALADIN, WHO IS STILL BLEEDING FROM LAST NIGHT’S MINDFLAYER ATTACK AND CAN’T RISK CASTING A PLUS FOUR FOG OF BINDING CONFUSION SPELL LEST IT TRIGGER A LEVEL DRAIN. BEHIND YOU IS A SHEER DROP INTO A MOAT AND IN FRONT OF YOU A TIGHTLY LOCKED METAL DOOR AND ALL YOUR POUCH CONTAINS IS A PLUS ONE WAND OF BEFUDDLEMENT, A SNICKERS AND THREE GOLD COINS. WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO KNOCK THIS CHILDISH SHIT ON THE HEAD AND GO OUT AND LOSE YOUR VIRGINITY?
PETER VIA MYSPACE
Cam: “I was expecting a question relating to the fight scenario there. But the actual question was…”
Hammer: When are you going knock this childish shit on the head and go out and lose your virginity?
Cam: “Well, with regard the latter part of the question, I lost it way before I started playing D and D [‘Dungeons and Dragons' – resident Hammer geek]. And as far as it being childish, well, yeah, maybe, but most of the people I know who play Dungeons And Dragons are well out of childhood, not even teenagers. In fact most of them aren’t even in their 20s any more. I’m going to keep doing it.”
Shane: “I think the guy who asked the question, knew a little too much what he was talking about.”

WHY ONLY THREE INCHES AND NOT SOMETHING MORE MANLY LIKE SIX OR 11 INCHES?
KATIE HORNE VIA MYSPACE
Cam: “Ha ha, I guess it’s just how it happened. I think it was Jamie’s [Hooper, singer] dad or brother who thought of it. It’s all part of some elaborate exaggerated story in which that exact phrase was used. It was some finger injury and the story got exaggerated to the point where there was ‘three inches of blood’.”
Shane: “She sounds a little insecure about herself.”

WHAT’S THE CRAZIEST THING YOU’VE EATEN/DRANK THAT’S BEEN THROWN AT YOU WHILE ON STAGE. WHAT WAS IT AND WHY DID YOU DO IT?
GREG GWILLIAM VIA MYSPACE
Shane: “Someone threw a ham sandwich at me on stage once. I took a bite, but threw it back because there wasn’t enough mustard on it.”
Hammer: Where was that?
Shane: “That didn’t happen.”

DO YOU EVER DANCE AROUND WITH VIKING HATS ON IN PRIVATE TIME? CHELSEA VIA MYSPACE
Cam: “I have. I haven’t danced around though, but I’ve put on a Viking hat and admired myself in the mirror.”

WHAT (APART FROM 3IOB) WOULD BE THE SOUNDTRACK TO THE ULTIMATE BATTLE?
JAMES VIA EMAIL
Justin Hagberg (guitar): “The Conan The Barbarian soundtrack.”
Cam: “That’s a very good answer.”
Shane: “Or the Robocop soundtrack. Guys like Basil Poledouris – he did the Robocop soundtrack.”

WHAT CHARACTER WOULD YOU BE IN ‘DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS’ (AND WHAT LEVEL)?
CARINA FROM FRANCE
Cam: “I would be my own character which I have and play quite vigorously with at home. A character called Falcon Frost. He’s a half-elf rogue barbarian. He’s recently been acclaimed as a legendary hero because of his high level standing.”
Shane: “I’m not well versed in ‘Dungeons And Dragons’, but I would be the Gimley The Dwarf type guy. A fighter dwarf.”
Justin: “I don’t know too much about ‘Dungeons And Dragons’ either. Cam, what do you think I should be?”
Cam: “Justin would probably be a wizard of some kind. Maybe a mage or something.”

WHAT’S THE BEST FANTASY BATTLE MOVIE EVER?
ALEX VIA MYSPACE
Cam: “I think Lord Of Rings is the best one. We all compare fantasy battle movies to that. It’s the gauge, because it’s the best. Without being too cliche, because it is still pretty recent.”
HOW MUCH DO YOU RECKON YOU OWE JUDAS PRIEST FOR RIPPING OFF ROB HALFORD’S VOCAL STYLE? MR MECKULL VIA MYSPACE
Shane: [laughs]
Cam: “Well it certainly wasn’t intended to – quote – rip him off. But to answer the first part of that question we definitely owe Judas Priest a lot for inspiring the kind of music we play – as well as a lot of other bands – but Judas Priest is definitely one of the top two.”
Shane: “We’re also very influenced by bands who were influenced by Judas Priest too. So, the young person who asked that question should do their homework on other New Wave Of British Heavy Metal because the worst thing that could happen is that they find other bands they like who drew their inspiration from Judas Priest.”

WHO WOULD WIN IN A FIGHT BETWEEN ROB HALFORD AND BRUCE DICKINSON?
MERCENARY MIKE FROM WESTON-SUPER-MARE
Shane: “I’m going to go with Bruce Dickinson. Mainly because he’s a world class fencer. I definitely wouldn’t want to mess with him.”
Cam: “But I think they might both be good at sword play, if you know what I mean. Actually, can we cut that from the record?”
Hammer: No.
Cam: “Oh…”

DO YOU EVER HAVE ‘PRIVATE’ PLASTIC SWORD FIGHTS WITHOUT TELLING YOUR WIVES AND GIRLFRIENDS?
KAREN VIA EMAIL
Shane: “They’re fully aware of what we do with those.”
Cam: “I like to pick up weapons, plastic or metal. Swing axes and swords around. I like weapons.”
Hammer: Have you ever done one of those recreation battle scene courses?
Shane: “There’s LARPing – Live Action Role Playing. Is that what you mean?
Hammer: It’s more like, 30 blokes from Barnsley who dress up as the Normans and the Saxons and beat shit into each other on a Sunday afternoon, just for fun. Like a medieval Fight Club.
Cam: “We’ve seen documentaries done over here with Terry Jones from Monty Python who hosted them.”
Hammer: Manowar do a live battle recreation thing. Would you ever do that?
Cam: “It sounds pretty elaborate. I think for the moment we’ll just stick to the music and whatever imagery is provoked from our lyrics.”

ANY TIPS FOR MAINTAINING A BUSHY BEARD? AND WHY DID JAMIE GET AWAY WITH NOT GROWING ONE?
JIM VIA MYSPACE
[All but Justin stroke their beards]
Shane: “Don’t trim it. And don’t wash it. In fact… don’t bathe.”
Cam: “I think trimming encourages it to grow back faster.”
Hammer: If you don’t trim it, it just gets in your mouth though.
Cam: “I definitely trim that ‘stache. For that reason, that it gets in your mouth when you’re eating. I’m actually at that point now, ready for a trim. As far as Jamie goes it’s never been his style to grow his… well, any of his hair actually. Probably because he’s a crusty bike punk. You’d think with that he’d have long dreadlocks, but no.”

HOW MANY FLAGONS OF MEAD WOULD YOU NEED BEFORE YOU WOULD KISS AN ORC?
AMELIA FROM SALTON-ON-SEA
Justin: “Probably some of that mead we had in Louisville.”
Shane: “If that was a flagon [points to his pint glass], I’d say eight.”
Cam: “I’d say a pint and two thirds. 26 ounces. Or something. An American pint is a bit smaller than a British pint – a real pint – so I’m never sure.”

WHAT’S THE ONE THING YOU KNOW ABOUT YOUR BANDMATES YOU WISH YOU DIDN’T?
OLD DOC BENWAY, NORWICH
[long pause]
Shane: “The smell of their farts. We live in a fart box. The van we tour in.”
Justin: “I wish I’d never smelt these guys’ farts. Seriously. That and maybe some of their show clothes.”

JAMIE CYCLES. WHAT DO YOU ALL DO OTHER THAN ROCK?
BLACK TIDE WORSHIP VIA MYSPACE
Cam: “Drink beer, drink whiskey and smoke pot. Play ‘Dungeons And Dragons’ and watch hockey.”
Shane: “Everything he said except I don’t play ‘Dungeons And Dragons’.”